Year - End Special (Part 1)

Looking back, I don't understand why I didn't have enough time to even write a single post about Christmas. I was checking my weekly report submitted every Monday morning to my boss in Singapore and I realize I was doing nothing but the same stuff I had been doing for the last 6 months at work. I couldn't believe it myself. How I had failed to update my blog with my misadventures is really disappointing me big time. Anyway, I won't sulk on that anymore. Instead I'll... err... just highlight the most memorable things (good and bad, that has happened to me . All in the spirit of Christmas. Yeheeee!

1. January - A.) Best friend Tin (Stacy) left office to pursue a life in Singapore. Oh well, she hadn't really left the country yet, but that marked the start of the revolution in my call center life. I remember the feeling that when she's gone nothing will be the same again at work. And I was right. She was one of my mentors, one of the people who had kept the fire burning inside our frozen hearts. When she left, we felt frozen alive. B.) My forgetful and misleading memory. I marked my calendar for my other best friend Cute's (Andie) birthday - January 28. Later did I found out that it was on the 21st. A huge gap between me and her came upon and we had lost touch. It took us months for her to finally forgive me and for me to finally accept I have a bad memory.

2. February - Basher Girls was born. On the 16th of February, sitting at Starbucks, The Shang were four girls who had not stopped ranting and bashing the most tormenting, unbearable and if not the most horrible people in our lives (ahem) from nine o'clock in the morning until about two in the afternoon. Coffee has brought us all together. Oh but of course it really wasn't the start, but it was indeed the start of the every Saturday Basher session and the mission to dine at all the S'bucks branch in the Philippines, take pictures and make all our detractors drool over us. That of course never happened. Ahek!

3. March - South of the border, West of the Sun by Murakami. This, I remember so well, but not the story verbatim or anything close to that, you know my memory capacity right? Anyway, this book jumpstarted the whole book reading mania in me again. After this I could hardly remember myself not reading a single book every month.

4. April - An emotional month for me. This, now, I no longer understand why had happened to me (and why was it remarkable anyway haha). But seriously, I read a few of my previous friendster blog counts and I was suddenly reminded of that thing we call ... (ahem)... emotionally unstable.

5. May - My retirement from the call center life. Yeah, freedom! Wuhoo! Well, I really hadn't had the chance to say that out loud when I was walking out the door and realizing I would miss it all again some time soon. And I was right. Right here, right now, I'm finally admitting I miss the call center life. Because I get to drink coffee without conviction. Whahehehe adik!

6. June - A.) My shopping spree birthday celebration. Okay, just for the record, I didn't really get to spend that much amount of money on stuff, you know, but what I did is just bought myself an entire new wardrobe and then feed my family to the fullest with my most favorite foods in the world (that is roasted chicken and Sansrival cake, yum!) B.) The Case with my ex. Okay, for the first time in months I am again talking about this serious encounter with my ex-boyfriend and his so-called wife. The war of the words was awful and really heartbreaking knowing that finally I had found the courage to shut the feeling down of wanting to fight back. I remember I was in an emotional turmoil fearing that my courage will soon melt away. But then I also remember how my friends had stood beside me during those times, reminding me that I am just gonna be fine.

To be continued....

That's Not My Name

That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings at the Victoria's Secret 2008-2009

Damn this song is sooo catchy! And how about mixing it and then use it as a runway song for the Victoria's Secret models to play with. Oohh, I love it!

Questions from A to Z

Let's do a little revelation tag once again and learn funny and serious stuff about me and my friends whom I'll be tagging along at the latter part of the list. By the way, thanks again to Kate for brining some excitement again to this blog. I haven't been tagged for such a long time now (months I'm talking about) so I had a hard time answering the questions. Anyway, enjoy everyone!

Questions for Ayn Descalsote:

A.) Attached or single? — Romantically Attached
B.) Best friend? — Eeyan Quinabo, KC Ochoa Tin Nazario, Cathleen Guerrero, Eddison Corpuz, Lulu Mendoza, Kulet, Eunice Francisco, Vince Natividad, Che De Jesus, Jeelyn Chung, Clarissa Bataanon
C.) Cake or pie? — Definitely cake.
D.) Day of choice? — Sunday. I can’t do anything about my laziness at my age. He-he.
E.) Essential item? — Lip gloss because my lips chap a lot. My watch because I can’t go anywhere not knowing what the time is, and also because I feel incomplete without it in my arm.
F.) Favorite color? — Currently into Blue.
G.) Gummy bears or worms? — Gummy worms
H.) Hometown? — Angono. Ideal place for a laid-back person like me.
I.) Favorite indulgence? — Music, I’d survive a day of horrendous research with it.
J.) January or July? — January, because I always get a feeling that I have evolved
K.) Kids? — I’ve none. But I’d only want 2 in the future.
L.) Life isn’t complete without? — love, understanding and freedom.
M.) Marriage date? — Not married yet. LOLx
N.) Number of magazine subscriptions? – none but I’d like to get one from National Geographic.
O.) Orange or apple? — Apple.
P.) Phobias? — nothing extreme just that I’m scared of crossing bridges (big or small) and riding a ship or a boat.
Q.) Quotes? — Life doesn’t want us to be the best but to try to do what is best to live it.
R.) Reasons to smile? — kids laughing, good music, great food, the best pillows in a comfy bed and a long good night kiss from my beloved.
S.) Season of choice? — Summer. I love getting tanned.
T.) Tag 5 people – C, E, Shane, Lu, Cute
U.) Unknown fact about me? – That I'm not good at promises, but you have my word if I say so.
V.) Vegetable? — Kangkong!
W.) Worst habit? — Smoking and drinking and then not remembering too much of what happened the night of hard drinking. Sigh.
X.) X-ray or ultrasound? - I haven't tried both, but I think I'll go for ultrasound.
Y.) Your favorite food(s)? – Adobong Kangkong ng mama ko, Pinakbet ng mama ko, Chicken Adobo ng mama ko, Chicken Barbecue ng papa ko, Chicken Pastel ni Tita Flor, Bicol Express ni Tito Maning, Fried Tilapia, Tuna Sashimi, Pancit Canton ng papa ko, Chunkie Corned Beef, Beef Loaf, Beef Goulash, Beef Caldereta ng mama ko, and Siomai.

Z.) Zodiac Sign - (Eastern) Ox (Western) Gemini

Short messages

When I opened my computer today I was shocked to see my blog, this blog, with its last post about my grievances. I almost panicked knowing that a lot of people (some are across the globe) who constantly visits my site may in any minute bombard me with "are you still in this kind of state?"

Well, ok, for the record, I've already recovered. Ha-ha. Thanks to a whole bunch of people who got me through all those nasty vibes in me.

Eeyan, you deserve a fraction of my heart for pushing me out of my relationship blues by flooding my Inbox with lots of hearty scoldings.

C, for sharing your emotions over a cup of my favorite Praline Mocha with the music from the piano playing from the basement of The Shang, because we haven't or shall I say I haven't experienced that with you again for what seemed like a very long time. I wanted to cry that night realizing how much I missed talking to you just like old times! Heck, where have I been, huh?

John, for... umm... yeah, the coffee ha-ha! Oh yeah, and for taking care of Eeyan too.

To Lu, who is the.. ahem.. ultimate girl magnet? Wahahaha eat your heart out boys. I really would not have made it through that Saturday without this guy. So Marian, if you're reading this, say yes. Ha-ha-ha!

To Vince who drove me off the wall the entire weekend for his disappearing act. It is just one and a half day though I learned a lot from that. Moral of the story: Don't over text your boyfriend/girlfriend whom you know will be going out of town. The out-of-town destination might not be that friendly (available) with their cellular phone service provider, thus, making them unaware of your panic attacks.

To Mama who brought the house down with her treat of overflowing KFC Chicken and Chocolate Crinkle Ice Cream for dinner. The best (kahit na halos pumutok na tyan ko sa dami kong nakain)!

To all the new friends I met over the week who all the more gave me a reason to smile. The old woman who grabbed me by the arm and asked me to sit beside her on the jeepney on my way to Antipolo. She related me stories about her two sons who seems to enjoy the bachelor life not knowing that their mother, her, is already wanting a grandchild. I looked away when I realized she was looking at me appraisingly. Sadly, I wasn't able to get her name. To Shafi, Lavine, Taxy and Jake, who frequents my blog but doesn't leave me a message at leaset, hmp! And finally to my new beautiful friends Saywen, Jenny Hernandez, Kate Cancio and Russel. Wuhoo!!! Girl Power!

Everyone, Thank you!

Maybe I think too much

I wondered, as I sit on my bed facing a very battered looking laptop in the middle of the night, why am I so pissed? The people around moves swiftly to bed gazing at me like I'm some kind of lunatic on the wall. And I thought how stupid of me to ever start my hands on a post for my blog again when there is nothing in this world that is worth thinking of but knowing how to be able to get my self to sleep. Because right now, sleep is impossible.

I don't know. Maybe because someone I had been expecting turned me down today. Sadness. Maybe the new task of finding the Super Proxy site is killing me. Horrible. Maybe because Christmas is too soon I still haven't got the time to window shop for my wish list. Oh, is there going to be a wish list? Maybe because it has been days that I am feeling so sickly. Sigh. Maybe because I just realized how hard I need to be bashed this Friday. Amfufu! Maybe because I miss someone so much I want to cry. Sadness! Maybe because there are migrating-to -foreign-land issues at work. No way. Maybe because I had been depriving myself of something with someone lately. Sadness!!! Maybe because I'm still not over my eating disorder. Idiot me. Or maybe... just maybe... I think too much.

Oh whatever. It's just a very very sad and lonely night for me. You wouldn't want me to capture this moment on camera or you'd be broken-hearted too.

PS. To all the people who had been affected by this post. I'm sorry. I didn't intend to be hurt, to share the hurt and then hurt you in turn . I just think I have this abandonment issues going on with me that I'm having a hard time dealing with right at this very moment. So please, bare with me.

LeBron James' Almost

I saw this on Yahoo today before I logged in. LeBron James dunks from the free throw line! Almost! I thought, ok, so what? Ha-ha. But inspite of myself, I clicked on the link, watched the replay and gawked at it like really Oh.My.God!

The Prince of Egypt

Mud…

Sand…

Water…

Straw…

Faster!

Mud… And lift…

Sand… And pull…

Water… And raise up…

Straw… Faster!

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder

With the salt of my sweat on my brow

Elohim, God on high, can you hear your people cry: “Help us now. This dark hour… Deliver us.”

I watched The Prince of Egypt last night at the boarding house together with two thirds of The Kerns. I was on the phone texting Vince and Eeyan when the movie started and this song started playing. It echoed in the interiors of the house. Some boarders even went downstairs to check what the racket is all about. Astonished I fixed my eyes on the screen and there it is. I was transfixed, swept away by the music and the animation that my eyes started to moist. I was ready to cry right then and there. But I was told that the movie hasn’t really started yet. Means I’m in for some more of this.

What mesmerized me more about this movie is the animated Moses. His facial expressions were so real that I thought the real Moses should’ve looked just like that. Fascinating. Every scene was so magical that I nearly declared it the best animated movie I had ever seen. Okay, well Cinderella was my ultimate fairytale movie but this movie is definitely something else. Oh well, if it’s the best, might as well not compare it to anything else then. He-he.

After the crossing of the Red-Sea I was already choking in tears. I couldn’t trust myself to speak about how this movie made me feel because the feeling is beyond words to describe. So after the credits I gave Aegirine and her dad Kuya Billy a quick goodbye and run quickly upstairs to hide my tears. I’m such a looser, you know. He-he. But the moment I hit the sack I was reminded of my Grandmother in Tacloban. She sent me a booklet called A Brighter Tomorrow which initially I thought was for kids. I kept it in my Starbucks planner and told myself I’ll be reading it one day.

I hit my bed at 12am because I did some more journals on my planner. I put my arms around my pillow and thought about the song I just heard. Shortly, I was singing Elohim, God on high, can you hear your people cry: “Help us now. This dark hour… Deliver us.”

Tita Ayin for a Day

Last Saturday I was in Marikina for a little babysitting with Michael. He is the son of my elder cousin Lema. This boy was born and raised in Bahrain for two years. He speaks a little tagalog now but some times he chants. Ha-ha just kidding.


It all started with the Raisins. Mikel luuves Raisins which I don't understand why because I don't eat too much of it! So I asked him to give me some to taste so I can tell what is to like about it. But he didn't want to share! Gasp.

So I tricked him by singing the Jolibee song. He loves to sing and dance to that one so I sang it and played around with him a little. Then I asked if he could now give me some of his raisins. He gave me a cheeky grin instead. Sigh.

I played around with his toys and rolled over the mattress like what a real toddler does. And when I was tired I realized he already finished three packs of it. Gosh, this kid is something.


So there, a day playing the role of Tita Ayin to Michael Blancaflor. Boy, that was hard. He-he. I didn't really mind about the raisins, you know. I was more fond of the time we shared. Mikel was such a cutie. He looked like my brother Nico when he was younger. But of course Nico is waayy cuter than any kid in town. Oh okay enough of that. Anyway, after a few more playtime with Mikel I chatted with his mom a little and was told that the they are really moving to Singapore by next year. Initially, they had planned to settle in Bahrain after their marriage because of Kuya Ronnie's work (Michael's dad) there as a Computer Analyst. But they had a problem with the immigration so they went back here. When Kuya Ronnie finally got everything fixed he was assigned to work in Singapore, thus, making them, Ate Lems, Michael and younger baby Kevin move there as well. Sad. Makes me wish that I could spend some more time with them before they're gone and be a Tita Ayin for a day again. Ayyy...

Bloggers Unite To Reunite Refugees

There had been no laughter in Sarajevo, only the sounds of exploding mortars and the anguished screams that followed. John Donne was right, Dana thought. No man is an island. What happens to one happens to us all, for we are all made of day and Stardust. We share the same moments of time. The universal second hand starts its unforgiving sweep toward the next minute."

Sydney Sheldon
The Sky Is Falling

It wasn't Sheldon who introduced me to the reality of refugees, but, surely he and the books that he had written expressing the tragedy that took place beyond my time and imagination is what inspired me to put this post today. I'm one of the many people who is here to share all efforts possible for Bloggers Unite: Reunite Refugees.

This is to all the fallen people, angels of Sarajevo and the Albanian refugees.

My 12-year old friend

Because I'm such a kid at heart I became the ultimate BFF (Best Friend for Life) of a twelve year old girl named Aegerine Kern. She's the only daughter of our landlady. She's half German if I may say so and is a few inches smaller than me. In time I know that'll change. Anyway, she's really sweet, though her stubbornness often sends people flying off the wall, I just smile at her. Aside from myself, Aegerine's one misunderstood girl. She freaks out people with her Sarah Geronimo style of singing while eating at the dining table, she bullies you back when you offend her, she doesn't eat a lot, she dances anywhere, she looks at you intriguingly and appraisingly like what most fashionistas call the "Manhattan Onceover", she talks a lot of non-sense and she bitches you around.

Oh whatever, this is a twelve year old kid who became so dear to me after about a few months of moving in. I can't exactly remember how but I think it all started when I was invited to watch zombie movies in their room after eating dinner. She started saying things like "You look familiar...", "You look like someone I know...", "You're cute..." , "You don't look like your age..." , "You're...", "You...". Basically that's when the friendship started.

Going back to Aegerine. Today, I just want to share with you something she shared with me. She's just like any other teenage girls we all know. She poses sweetly for the camera. She ties her hair in pig tails. She braids her hair. She takes a daily dose of Vitamin-C (according to her mom). She has a crush on one of her classmates named Jeffrey. She wants to be a celebrity, a singer most definitely. She wants to grow up fast. Her mp3 player only plays one song and that is This is Me from a Disney Channel show which was sung by a girl whom I have never heard of and her favorite The Jonas Brothers (eek!). She gossips. She lies. She makes other babies cry. She plays badminton in the street. She wears pink skirts. And she loves her mom and dad.

One of my most memorable experiences with Aegerine is when she's was left alone in their house. Her mother is a treasurer of Dating Daan and her dad was out on an exploration that time(I'm not sure about this though). She asked me to stay with her and watch movies. We watched White Chicks and guffawed with laughter all over the place. She learned to mimic the line that one of the cloned white chicks said when they arrived at the hotel. She'd say, "Credit card? I.D.? I am so freakin' pissed." Ha-ha-ha. I had loved that movie ever since.

I will share with you one of the things that Aegerine is most fond of. Japanese boys. Yeah. Well, this is her favorite band as of now and I learned to like it after she sang it to me the second time around. Watch it and have fun the way a twelve year old girl does.

Tegomasu - Ai Ai Gasa

It Started and Ended With A Kiss

Ok. I know this sounds really, really, really (really, really, repeat till fade) corny, but I figured this is what really happened between Vince and Me. It started with a kiss.

October 26, The After-Party

Vince celebrated his 22nd birthday at a pub somewhere in Xavier Ville. Really cool place for me since it was my first time there, they were the usuals so I was kind of like turning my head everywhere. Nothing important transpired that night except for (what I was told) the time they started teasing Vince and me to get together. I thought whatever because I was drunk and could hardly remember a thing! Anyway, the after-party is what made both ends meet. Ahem.

Morning of Sunday, October 26, I woke up 9am and went downstairs after a booze-beaten sleep. As I can recall I saw Vince lying on the floor a magazine in one hand with the equally booze-beaten two-some Che and Nix. I thought of joining them so I dived in, beside Vince. I rolled over the carpet and must have probably landed on top of his body that’s why I ended up curling inside his enclosed arms. I didn’t like the feeling of my back on him so I turned around and faced him. As I inch closer the more I could feel how manly he is amidst the bushy long hair, the soft chinky eyes, and the lustfully thin lips. I say nothing beats my drunken eye. Anyway, so I felt the urge to put my arms around him, the goddess that he is to me, and feel his body. Oh heaven's sake, I don't know what I'm doing b he just feels so right! My God, how can you have made me such an idiot to not notice this when we were in college, hmm? Back to reality, the more I made my arm linger on top of his waist (or somewhere there) the more immense was I at the thought that what was happening between me and my imagination is utterly unaccepted. All of a sudden he was inching closer too. His arm was somewhere on top of my torso and in seconds we were wrapped in an embrace! Hooray! Ahem. Sorry.

So there, wrapped in an embrace. Oh God, that felt so wonderful. I could stay there forever! I closed my eyes and duck down somewhere on top of his chest. It didn’t felt right. So I tossed my chin up. Suddenly the heavenly intervention occurred, we kissed!

Love at First Kiss

I could not believe it. The moment our lips touched there was already love. *blushing* Ok. I might have been exaggerating this thing between Vince and me, but I just think that’s how it all came to be. It wasn’t just a smooch; it was a perfect kiss, a lips-to-lips contact, and a body to soul relation kind of thing. So what more do you want me to ask for?

Two Weeks Ago

They say that everyday, you get little surprises. Two weeks ago I got the biggest surprise of my life. I received an email from a college friend. It was just like the typical how are you? messages you get from old friends you haven’t seen in years.

Weeks before I’ve already been retracing myself. After Riannes' death (r.i.p.) I was already looking out for all the friends I had before when I suddenly came across this email. I felt a sudden interest to re-connect that looking at this email and pressing the reply button almost made me fly.

I asked to be reunited to my two college best friends, Che and Eunice. I asked this from the sender, Vince. I was so happy he was interacting with me that I had already forgotten if I really do know him and if he does know me too. To be honest, I only know him by face, he-he-he. Well, I was an academic-devotee in college and he was the peers-oriented type, you know, are paths never crossed, unless of course I hang out. But yes, I do know him from my friends. We have lots of common friends by the way. Anyway, so there we were, after a series of emails through Friendster we exchanged YM addresses and thus, the new found friendship began.

Vince came in totally unexpected. He was a total sweetheart right from the start. When I explained to him that I was treating my eating disorder he was more than, or somewhat, concerned. We became textmates and I informed him of how much I suffered eating just soup, crackers and fruits all day for a week. He became my confidante. The best part of it all is that we were enjoying ourselves. Little did I notice that he's starting to become my new best friend. I realized I was already half asking about my old friends. All day that we would be chatting or texting each other, he never failed to amuse me. He was making me happy. He can completely divert a mindset of a serious IT copywriter to a childlike cracker. We became really close.

It Ended with a Kiss

When I realized that I had to answer his question with only a yes and a no, I froze. I couldn’t believe this will ever happen. When he was cupping my face with his two hands, lying on the carpeted floor of my best friends’ house, face to face, asking me that open-ended-heart-tearing-seriously-the-end-of-friendship question, I nearly died.

I had said yes and he kissed me back. It ended with a kiss. By it means being just friends. After a series of stoned silence and kisses filled conversation we are now an official couple. Him, mine… I, his.

The Curious Incident With the Vanilla Sky

You know the times when you first open your eyes in the morning, stretch out a little, look out the window, see the morning sky and feel the world full of life again? Yeah. That's my most favorite time of the day. The moment reality would hit me I would just look outside the window and check out my most favorite thing in the world God has ever created. The Vanilla Skies.

I like taking things easy I have to say. That is why out of all the things that could make a person happy and content, all I need is a place to sit and admire the view of the sky. Add a picturesque beach on the side and I'm done. He-he.

But I hate the cloud outside my window today. There are gray clouds I see that may cause me to drag an umbrella going out. So I hopped out of bed. Armed with a basket full of toiletries I went straight to the bathroom and bathe. I wasn't thinking about how much I've scrubbed my skin or washed my hair off, I was mindful of the sky outside. At exactly fifteen minutes I was done. I immediately put on whatever article of clothing I got my hands on and went running downstairs to meet Vanilla Sky.

Vanilla wasn't there. It was Gray. Damn it, no! Sadly I went back upstairs and hastily grabbed the black umbrella on top of chest board. I went downstairs again and out into the morning sky of Gray. There she is. Peeking out of little open space between clouds of Gray I saw her. The Vanilla Sky. She would not let go, I thought to myself.

I kept my umbrella unopened and walked cheerfully to work. Above and beyond my imagination Vanilla is smiling back.

Fact or Fiction?

Full Name: Arlyn Arcenas Descalsote
Nicknames: Ayn, Ayin, Yin, Lyn, Alyson, Arte-sta, Twin, Kid, Neng, Chidang
Single or Taken: Taken
Gender: Female
Birthday: 16^th of June
Sign: Gemini
Siblings: 1 sis and 1 brother
Eye colour: Hazel Brown (my doctor says so)
Shoe size: 5
Height: 5ft
What are you wearing?..my favorite jag and a plain blue shirt
Where do you live? Makati
Righty or lefty: both

-------------------
Relationships
-------------------

How many very close friends? 14 (record breaking) and I had to count some more he-he
Do you have a BF or GF? BF. Yesss…

--------------------
Fashion Stuff
--------------------

Your favorite place to shop: Fornerina – when affordable (Clothing) Sari-Sari or Regatta and Whatever, Jag (Pants), Barbizon (Undies), The Face Shop (Cosmetics),
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? not yet
Colour: Black and Blue
Number:11
Boys Names that u like: Louise
Girls Names that u like: Erika
Subject in school: Literature
Animal: doggies!
Drink: Coke, Coffee, and Mango Juice
Food: Anything Spicy
Months: January-May-June-December
Song at the moment: Bad Girl – Usher
Movie: Penelope
Fav Qoute: Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars.
Breakfast: 2 slices of bread with peanut butter and a cup of coffee with cream
Cologne/Perfume: Johnson’s & Johnson’s Baby Cologne Spring Bouquet
Favorite cartoon character: Danny Phantom as of the moment

-------------------
Have you ever....
-------------------

Given anyone a bath? haha....
Smoked? yep unfortunately
Bungee Jumped? nope which is sad
Been skinny dipping? no...
Been in the opposite sex's washroom? yep
Eaten a dog biscuit? no
Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yep...
Would u cry if u were in love? Yep...
Been in a physical fight? Yep..
Been in a police car? Nope!
Came close to dying? no
Been in a sauna? Yep
Been in a hot tub? YEP!!
Fallen asleep in school? yep
Broken someone's heart? Many times
Cried when someone died? Yep
Flashed someone? Nope I have dignity!
Fell off your chair? Jesus, of Course!
Sat by the phone all night? Yes
Saved MSN conversations? Yep ha-ha
Saved e-mails? Yeah. I’m lazy
Been cheated on? Yep
Had Chicken pox? Yep
Had Sore Throat? Yep!
Believe in love at first sight? yeah actually
Liked picnics? yep
Liked school? yep

----------------
Would you…
----------------

Eaten a live hamster for $1,000,000? NO!!!!
Go to a Hanson concert if you had a free ticket? Yeah!!!
Who was the last person you touched? Zel
Who was the last person you massaged? Vince….waaahhhh
Who was the last person you yelled at? Chor
Who was the last person who broke your heart? The Singaporean marketing boss who didn’t like the last video I created.
Who was the last person who told you they loved you? Tin
Who is your loudest friend? Kaiye

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Do you/Are you…
---------------------

Do you like filling these out? When I’m bored and have nothing to write on my blog.
Do you wear contacts or glasses? used to wear glasses but my eyes were able to adjust fine with the laptop radiation.
Do you do drugs? No
Have piercings below the waist? Nope!
Stolen anything over $50? No
Anorexic? I have a tendency to be one.
Depressed? Just last night
Suicidal? Eh nope!

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Final questions
-----------------

What are you listening to right now? Bad Girl – Usher, Sam’s Town – The Killers, Are You Gonna Be My Girl – Jet, Hella Good – No Doubt, Jump Madonna, Nothing’s Gonna Change my love for you – Westlife
What did you do yesterday? Worked on article submission and went out with a couple of friends.

Hated someone in your family? Nope I love them all!
Got any awards? Yeah, a gold medal for Music Quiz Bee and a 2^nd Runner up title for a college beauty pageant (oohhh revealing)
How many remote controls are in your house? One
Are you double jointed? Nope
What do you dream about? That I had finished my book in time for Christmas.
Last time you showered? Last night
Last time you took a bath? Just this morning
The last movie you saw at the theater? The Dark Knight
Scary or happy endings? Happy!!
Root beer or Dr.Pepper? Root beer
Mud or Jell-O wrestling? MUD..
Vanilla or chocolate Ice cream? Vanilla
Summer or winter? Summer
Silver or Gold? Silver
Diamond or pearl? Pearl
Sunset or Sunrise? Sunrise

Call Me

Rule: List all the names you were called by and the people who call you that. Tag at least 10 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

I may not be in the mood to do anything in my computer today other than browsing I am not obsessed! But after reading KC's blog (or rather C's, as what I would like to call her hehe) I suddenly found myself brewing a fresh cup of coffee with cream and relaxing to my chair ready to strike the keys.

Ok. To start-off . I haven't been called many names. So what I have listed are just names i recall being called by the special people who had been part of my life. Terms of endearments were omitted for legal purposes.

So here we go...

Ayin - As I am most commonly called my friends and family who are close to me. This name started from my Grandfather in my mothers' side. He's half Chinese and could hardly pronounce words that have the letter "r" in it. So thus my sisters nickname, Puyin.

Ayn – This is a shorter (and flirtier) version of abovementioned nickname. I used this when I worked for Chili’s Grill and Bar at the age of 16 for a summer job. I toyed with my reason telling them that this is pronounced like the “Ein” in Einstein. Thus began the “WTF?” stares.

Alyson – My American name. I used this for almost three (3) years in my previous job as an account manager. I got used to being called this name day and night, in and out.

Aly – Shit! I hate to remember being called this name. No girl wants to be named after a boxing legend! Oh heck. Call me Al instead, will you? That’s much better.

Lyn – This sounds, to a certain extent, serious to me. So stop it. Stop calling me this…hideousness suffix.

Ay – C? This is for you. I think we’re just too lazy to add more syllables to our already shortened nicknames.

Lhing – Only one man calls me this. And he’s a bloody policeman for God’s sake!

Kid – This name gives me no justice at all. I mean, Jee, we need to discuss this. Seriously.

Twin – You know when you were young and people thinks that your BFF (which was Che during that time) is your sister because you’re always together and you’re almost alike in so many ways? Ok. I need not to explain further.

Chidang – Hahaha! This is the most hilarious name I’ve ever heard someone call me. Well, you’ll only hear my cousins calling me this.

Neng – I used to hate this but when Ate Rosie (my cousin) started playing with this name I just got used to it. But just because I have accepted the fact that this is what my cousin calls me doesn’t mean I can appreciate nor tolerate anyone calling me this.

Ms. D – Okay so this is just very recent. As I rushed my self in to the nearest Hospital yesterday I acquired a new moniker. Ms. D. That’s my last names’ initial actually. Well, I just thought that the secretary got tired of saying (and spelling) my name every time they call me. If it were not for the expectant look of the people around like saying “Ms. D? As in Dina Bonnevie?” it felt good, you know.

So that's about it. Again, sorry, I'm so not in the mood.

Nude Law

So I broke my promise about writing something for Brandon Flowers. I know. But he’s just not the “it” guy for me as of this moment and so I don’t think I should be writing anything about him unless I get the feeling back and at the same time hear myself crying “Leave the bourbon on the shelf” again.

All right, so who’s the new guy this time? Ok. Before I spill the beans, let me just make a promise here (even if I’m too bad with promises), oh whatever. Here goes.

(Note: Read in your most 16^th century English accent).

From this day forward, I, Arlyn Descalsote, 23 years of age, will no longer hesitate to share true feelings towards a man whom I utterly and most obviously aspire. Hence, I begin my compliance to this pact on this very writing, first day of October year two thousand and eight.

Now, let me begin with Jude Law. Oh heaven forbid! I can’t believe I am writing about this man. Ok, cut the English accent and continue reading with your bloody native tongue. So, Jude Law. Oh shit! I can’t really do this. I can’t write about him. I’m just faking this writing thing, hideous me! He’s…just too…just too…lovely…and sensually serene and for godsakes he’s just to…oh how am I going to say…shocks my word! If the world hears about this…I’d be…damned! For goodness sake!

Ok. Don’t panic. And stop writing like you’re Sophie Kinsella. Write naturally and breathe naturally too. Oh my goodness! I can’t do this. I just can’t! Ok, again. Breathe.

So, Nude Law – I mean Jude Law (oops!) is now officially the hottest guy in my eye. Thanks to Jigs who had persuaded me to watch The Holiday, in his posh condo, or I will never have the chance to meet this strikingly sensual guy. Ok. Jude Law (aw!) is just simply the most sensually serene guy I’ve seen on screen. Well, this guy, I suppose, is not new to some of you, but for me, oh punish me for this, he is really new. Ok, well I’ve heard about him before. Tons of times from my older cousins who were about six years older than me and who had adored him since his Gattaca days but in my list of “Most Wanted Men With Bed-Dreamy Eyes And Breath-Takingly- Kissable Lips” really new, as in. So blame it on my friend Jigs and his honest-to-goodness-coolest condo unit I’ve ever laid my eyes on. That’s a fact Jiggy so let me bum around your place again one night, will you? I’ll take that eyebrow rising as a yes. Back to Jude Law (aw!). Ok, again, this is Jigs' fault. He popped this movie called The Holiday when I dropped by at his place one night when a friend and I were rioting in a car for a place to spend a drunken night out. He offered his humble abode and got me hooked on his Thai dish called Chicken Laksa (which according to him was too salty. For me it wasn’t. Please believe. In fact I enjoyed it thoroughly with my glass of red wine. Sadly, I missed the part when to stand beside the balcony with that glass of red wine at hand and a cigarette on the other then laugh out loud ala Cruella de Vil. Bongga!)

Anyway. So there! That's it. i just wanted to let you know that I'm really so into this guy right now that I have a feeling will not last long, though I really intend to write something about him because he made me spill wine on my jeans when he kissed Cameron Diaz hard on the lips that made her want more! Ayayay! Which reminds me, that scene has happened to me before...

Jigs...

you...

...are so right!

I am Cameron!

And you are Kate Winslet.

Oh God.

The Stranger at King's Court

I was under the impression that this would not last long. This feeling of self-destruction in the sense of falling in love with a mistake I committed some years ago is something I thought wouldn’t last at all. But I am greatly mistaken. It was a mistaken love affair after all. But unfortunately for me, my mistakes are the stuff that I cherish the most and had always wanted to get back on.

If anyone of you thought I am smoke-free, think again. I took a break with the sticks for a few days time but now I am back. Willingly back.

As I sit across an elongated bench outside the building I work at I began grasping for my cigarette in the plastic bag of Mini Stop. Out of the freshly opened flip-top box I smelled the aroma of tobacco filled rolled paper on my fingers. Almost shaking I lit it and the sparks began. Every color, every lines, every movements and every whispers of talk around me is suddenly full of life. This is such a wonderful thing isn’t it?

As I drag on my stick I noticed that I was the only girl in the crowd. Three men sitting on my left, one of them sitting right next to me, a seemingly haggard looking man in a pale white barong sat quietly on my right and some five to six men chatting animatedly a few meters in front of me on the other side of the area. These are strangers. And I love strangers around me when I smoke. Because the fact that they don’t know me allows me the freedom to just be me. For them I am just a girl who smokes, nothing more and nothing less.

Indeed I am. A girl who sits in a crowded place of men in leather shoes and business suits dragging on two to three sticks a day. Or shall I say dragging on two to three sticks a sit. Because cigarette is my lunch and my dinner. Not my breakfast though because I always wake up late, just in time to run wet-haired for work. So there. Just lunch and dinner. It’s not that I’m on a diet or is saving money but because I’m always in no appetite for food in the cafeteria or in anywhere else my workmates frequent for lunch breaks. Just that.

So I took out another stick and wait for some girls to come out and sit on the same bench with me to have a drag in their own cigars. I wish. But none has come out to play. Suddenly I realized something is wrong. There are no other girls in sight. What the hell is wrong with the world today? Am I the only girl in the world now who smokes in a public place like this surrounded by men in haggard faces and laser eyes? I don’t get this.

Now I’m offended. How strange can this be? Now my being back to the old habit is bothering me. I feel like I’m not normal at all. Oh this sucks. I put out the smoke on the ashtray post and stormed out of the area. My head is spinning with unusual mockery. Staying in that place so full of crappy staring old men and playing a stranger was a mistake. Now I am marked. Like old times. When I commit something that no one else has ever done before, which is most likely I have no intention of doing, I am marked. This is so like that. I hate being a stranger and stand being surrounded by stranger who thinks I am strange. Oh, this isn’t making any sense anymore.

Nico, the K-zone Monster

Nico is really a collector of a lot of stuff. Read: a lot. Yeah, that's because most of the stuff he collects really doesn't have much value or something like that. One of his fixations is collecting this kids' magazine called K-zone. Its got loads of stuff about Anime, Console game infos, Jonas Bros. and Hannah Montana trivia, Restaurant suggestion for kids, Jonas Bros. and Hannah Montana infos, some cool sports for kids to try, latest movies for kids, Jonas Bros. and Hannah Montana news, jokes, more jokes and some more Jonas Bros. and Hannah Montana collectibles. But the good thing is my brother's not obsessed with either of those two artist I mentioned (no offense) and turns out my sister Iris is the one so keen on those teen brothers and then I ended up listening to that Hannah girl - This is the life!!! Oh my gosh! Anyway, this kid, nightmare. Ha! He's got a complete set since 2007 (including the double issues)! Ma, do you have any idea about this???

Nico,The K-zone monster

The Best Laid Plans - Father’s Day on Mute Special

It has been a week since my father left for a foreign land nine and a half hours flight away from here. It was part of the best laid plans we had in mind. It went well.

So we thought.

Father’s Day on Mute

No, this isn’t Father’s Day. But it sure has turned out to be after hearing the tragedy of heat stroke that had knocked him and our future down under. Sunday, at Megamall, I was with Mama, my sister Iris, my younger brother Nico, my grandpa Joaquin (mothers’ side). We gathered up and made one man deserve all the hugs and smiles and the love and support in the world. My father, Armando Echo Descalsote.

In my childhood papa was always the cheery one. He can take it anytime and anywhere. He’s unbelievably witty in conversations in the most hypothetical sense that us, kids, only understand that ‘it’ was indeed funny when they, the old, starts guffawing with laughter. He talked big about learning how to deal with life in college, and so at an early age my sister and I were projected to look beyond our generations to the world of grown-ups in college. That wasn’t really bad though as it taught us how to go for something we truly aspire regardless of how financially incapable we are or mentally disoriented (not literally) to take on our chosen fields as long as we have something…to aspire...right. Oh whatever.

My father is a Finance graduate in UE (University of the East) who has more respect and understanding for Philosophy than for Accounting because he believed that common sense is much used in life than doing an inventory of numbers. But he used the accounting stuff anyway later on in life. For 15 years he worked for General Milling Corporations where he met my mother and was married in 1984. Mama told me a little of his proposal was really the wackiest excuse to get married. The line he said was something like – “Do you know how much money we keep spending a night of just eating and watching movies and how much we’ll save if we get married instead?” Mama’s answer was a “no idea” - about what the hell is he up to (she’s obviously not into marriage just yet) but in spite of herself came out a resounding laughter and a yes to let’s get married.

A year after I came in the picture then a year after that, my sister Iris. The most treasured father and daughter moment I can recall is definitely that time I first played for the Flores de Mayo some years ago. In the family, Papa is known for his musical skills. He plays the piano and guitar very well and can learn how to play a song by just listening to it. He sings too! He loves all kinds of music as a matter of fact and is responsible for influencing us (me, my sister and younger brother) with the music of Beatles, Eagles, Queen, Beegees, Michael Jackson, Santana, Elton John, America, Chicago, ABBA and Robbie Williams and Michael Buble.

I was about 10 years old when I was formally taught on how to play the piano and violin then guitars and flute when I turned 12. My younger siblings were taught the same instruments equitably but they were just not as good as I had turned out to be. One time in May, Papa asked me to play the piano on his behalf at the Flores de Mayo festivity that my grandmother (Papas’ mother) is conducting every year. It was a family tradition wherein we invite lots and lots of people to celebrate with us in honor of the Immaculate Mother Mary. This was always done in Latin and so Papa had to deal with me learning Latin, singing it and playing it at the same time. It was tedious but for the first time in my life I felt a strong sense of worth. And so I learned quickly. The celebrations were done during weekends and I played in all of them for an entire month never missing any opportunity to wow the crowd. They said I was brilliant - a youngster amongst the mature choir. Mama, my brother and sister, cousins, elders and grandmother, who were there, would only sit and stare at how Papa and I had done it perfectly. The father and daughter tandem, just perfect.

The Best Laid Plans
In actuality, the word ‘perfect’ isn’t a really fitting word for my relationship with Papa, because it was never been like that honestly. We were always and forever in conflict about so many things. Trust is our favorite topic. For him, life is a humongous arena of black and whites that once we are let out there – the so-called scene – you will either turn out white as a ghost or black as evil. So the more he ties me to his standards the more I struggle out.

Since then, instinctively Papa became my biggest pressure in almost everything I do. I got myself into sports – softball varsity – in high school, learned enough of reverse psychology and all in all become a fighter for my younger siblings and in some ways for the entire family so that one way or another win his old appreciation of his favorite daughter. But I always fail him. And so later on I started building my walls to another world. I joined a writer’s society in college so I can spend much time out of the house and away from his wicked smite of remarks. I learned to love and hate him. Love him to be around so I have all the reasons to be a constant ridicule to the family. Hate him for still seeing through me.

It happened some time last year after an apparent incapacity of mine to be the provider of the family. A call from my aunt abroad gave me all the chances to change our fate and to try once again to prove myself to him. This time, I made sure nothing else will get in the way. Nothing.

It was a chance for Papa to go abroad and play a scene in the family business. It all seemed perfect. I gathered up information as to what has to be done for him to get there. The money and his qualifications were so impossible at that time. A freaking three hundred thousand pesos and a striving family to feed is too heavy for my shoulders. In fact it was absolute insanity! And so I had to plan it carefully, and smoothly. Trust again became an issue. I made him trust me. In the sense that whatever I say and do is what’s best for him. It worked. Days and months had passed and we carried on having a common goal and a common anticipation that one day it will happen. It was not deceit, no. Please believe me when I say this. I had no intensions to play dishonesty in the background just to make him go out of my life because he is my father, and I love him as much as I love the entire family. It was that I want him to learn how to trust me back to positive appreciation and so we can go back to the part when we lived simple lives treating each other the perfect father and daughter in the eyes of everyone.

After series of discussions over endless efforts to make this all come true, finally the day has arrived. The weekend before his flight I was back in Antipolo with a bottle of wine at hand ready to celebrate for a discreetly proud and excited father. I sensed all time happiness. Everything went well after all.

Where: Megamall, Max’s Restaurant
When: September 7, 2008, Sunday
What: Lunch date with Mama, Puyin, Nico, Lolo Joaquin (mama’s father), Tita Tere and Tito Rolly, TF, Kenneth and Vince (cousins)
Agenda: Grandparents’ Day
Sub-agenda: Papa’s situation in Qatar

He was in a bad state. A topic that had driven us back to question the chance we all had agreed upon. The chance we took. The chance that started it all. The chance that ruined it all.

Now, everything was a complete disaster. The best laid plan has turned into a life threatening situation that could cost me not only a father to prove myself to that I had cared for ever since but also heaven and earth. As I sit across my mother and beside my sister and younger brother digesting not only the food on my plate but the downpour of emotions between deep sighs. It was heartbreaking. I could not think straight and could not decide on the level of stupidity I had reached. I felt sick to finish my meal and so I timidly spared myself with the desserts because the knot in my stomach gets tighter and tighter every minute. But everyone including me kept a cool face though. My sister and brother on the other hand didn’t give up relating me more of their shock and disappointment resulting me another round of imaginary banging on the wall. All the more, they were the ones who were expecting good things from this out of the so-uncharted-water adventure because they respect me and knowing this was my plan will turn out well. But now they knew it didn’t and so I was more damned.

Stressed out I went back to my boarding house and got a hold of Papa on the phone. He said that he’d rather not talk about his situation there because he knows he can still do the part if only the climate would cooperate. I felt a little ok. I asked him for the last time to take care of him self and put down the phone. Before doing so he asked that if all things fail we just have to be proud that we took the chance.

This morning, I learned it was heat stroke.

Simon Pegg

After watching Shaun of the Dead - twice in a row (I obviously can't seem to get enough of it), Guest House Paradiso and Run, Fatboy, Run, I am now a Simon Pegg fan. My gosh!

I've said this a couple of days ago to a friend that I'm developing this sort of fascination over British. Brandon Flowers of the The Killers is totally becoming a staple in my everyday living though I'm not sure he's Brit but since their stint in Abbey Road I just thought so. And if you put him together with Simon, oh my! I mean I know right they're just soooo urgh irresistibly cute! Oh please somebody stop me.

Now I can't last a day without watching these two guys now. Simon and Brandon. Brandon and Simon. Okay enough! I'll feature Brandon Flowers in my next post promise! (marking the calendar now). But for now - Simon Pegg.
Simon is simply one of the funny and talented guys I've seen on tv. I was so amazed when I found out he has co-written Shaun of the Dead which is one of the funniest so-unheard-of-movies I've ever seen. That movie is what directors now call the Rom-Zom-Com type of films because of the brilliant idea of mixing two genres (Horror and Romantic Comedy) into one movie and still keep everything intact. I'm sure when you see at least one of those movies I mentioned you will get the drift. And if you check on his other films you will notice that he's been casted with almost the same actors and actress. Like in Shaun of the Dead he's with Nick Frost (which has been Simon's best friend for 15 years. Whoa!) who starred with him again in Hot Fuzz along with many others. In Guest House Paradiso he was also there with Liz from Shaun of the Dead. In Run, Fatboy, Run he was there with Dylan Morgan who also was in Shaun of the Dead. I mean I know this is small...small...world! Lolx. Just kidding. But boo whatever, I love this guy. Period.

So, as for that, I will let you see Simon Pegg at his simplest form. Ha-ha! I mean in his simplest funny role. I'm just not sure if this is Dylan Morgan (the guy who could have been the older version of Harry Potter) whom he's with in this scene but anyway, take a good look at this lad, and have one bloody hell of a time! Blimey, what's gotten in me? British eh!

P.S. Simon also stars in the movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People along side Kirsten Dunst(Spiderman Trilogy) and Megan Fox(Transformers) and Big Nothing with David Schwimer and a film with Gillian Anderson (X-Files). This only means one thing... He's coming to invade America! Hahaha! I love this! So move over Jim Carey... Simon Pegg's here! Wuhoo!

Do you Speak English? from Big Train

Dawson's Creek Re-run (The Joey-Pacey Finale)

This is the only t.v. show that made me start dreaming to become a real writer. When I first saw Dawson's Creek I was astonished by how casual witty lines were delivered. At first I thought of the actors who were so perfect for their respective roles but as I realized it, it's the writer who makes all the wonders there is to be admired in this show (well aside from Joshua Jackson and the Joey-Pacey-Joey-Dawson love affair of course)! Well, whatever. I won't go on talking about my love for this series because the show is waaay out of the running (my gosh! How long has it been? My age is showing, hihi). So I leave you with the best t.v. series ending everrrr!!!

Joey-Pacey Quote

Pacey: You're off the hook. I never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone set them free" crap as evidence by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment but I am determined to be happy, Joey, happy in this life and I love you, I mean, I always, I have always, always loved you but our timing has just never been right and the way I figured it, time is no man's friend so I have to get right with that and be happy, now, because this is it, I mean, this is all that we get. If there is one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.
Joey: Pacey...I
Pacey: Actually, I... hold on, I'm not done yet, I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy so I want you to be with someone, whether be Dawson, or a New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet but I want you to be with someone who can be part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess, the point of this long run-on sentence that blessed the last 10 years of our lives is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.
Joey: You know what, for the record, I... I don't wanna be let off the hook. 'Cause everything in my life that I've done has led me here, right now and the last thing I want, need or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook.
Pacey: Please don't miss my point here...
Joey: And don't miss mine. Pacey, I love you, you know that and it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it... and I love Dawson, he's my soul mate, he's tied to my childhood and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let of the hook cause I just might get the notion that it's ok to keep running.
Pacey: So then what exactly are you saying here?

I Wait (The Explicit Conversation Edition)

(Monologue)

(Ayin to herself facing a mirror which ironically looks like the laptop screen)

Ayin: So like this could really make me feel better huh.

Mirror: I don’t know, why don't you speak on it girl.

Ayin (with a contorted face of a hippogriff): Really, everyone knows I am not that patient over this matter. And God knows how I’ve suffered many times just attempting to even pretend I can tolerate holding my anticipation over my next sought after affair because I’m clearly a hopeless romantic. There. I said it.

...silence...divine intervention all of a sudden...

Mirror: You're a what? Girl, I haven't been paying too much attention on you since the first time you got shagged but dang keep talking!

Ayin: I'm tired of talking about this. And to even write about this, I mean, what gives me the f(_)cking reason in writing this up then? Is it because I’ve just decided to re-run Dawson’s Creek on my player and keep going back to episode 127 that I’m acting this way? Oh, don't put that in.

Mirror: Whatever you say sunshine.

Ayin: Is it because of Brandon Flowers who is utterly becoming the hottest guy in the universe with that seductive beard?

Mirror: Sure! He's hot and you've been posting his picture all over the place.

Ayin: No. It's Joshua Jackson.

Mirror: You are so elementary.

Ayin: I'm saying some guys really look good when they grew older.

Mirror: Oh please don't go there!

Ayin: Then what is it?!

Mirror: Do you really want me to say it?

Ayin: Say what?

Mirror: His name?

Ayin: Name? What name? I mean who's name? I mean what and who are you talking about?! (nostrils flaring )

Mirror: Hey, chill. I just want to make sure you want me to say his name.

Ayin: If that's you-know-who you can start killing me now.

Mirror: Come on, who wants to keep talking about you-know-who and what a jerk he turned out to be. But sure I can talk about him if you're enjoying yourself being stoned to death I could go on wi--

Ayin: Please, please, please shut it!

...silence...mirror (who ironically looks like the laptop screen) is rolling her eyes

Ayin: Stop that I can see you.

Mirror: See what?

Ayin: That! You're rolling your eyes at me. I know what that means.

Mirror: Oh really? Well, fire me up, what does that mean then?

Ayin: It means you're irritated of me, talking and acting like this again.

Mirror: Um...close.

Ayin: You hate me.

Mirror: Yeah probably because you're half awake all the time when you drink too much coffee everyday to even wake your soul, but to hell no I don't hate you.

Ayin: Gee thanks! Much for being my conscience but sorry I don't get you.

Mirror: You don't get it why I don't hate you?

Ayin: No I mean when you said I'm always half awake. I mean, what are you trying to say like I sleep walk to work and --

Mirror: ---and you hit your head on the post without noticing it. Exactly.

Ayin: Look, if you're talking abou--

Mirror: (talking hastily like a Puma, oh or whatever) Harvey, sure! That guy's madly in love with you and you don't see it. And now that he's gone because of your stupidity the least you can do is admit to yourself that you're mistaken, you want him back and that you do feel the same about him.

...silence...again...sounds of rapid heart beating is heard in the background like Ayin is about to win sweepstakes.

Ayin: What?

Mirror: what do you mean what?

Ayin: Shocks I'm sorry. Um... What was that you were saying. That was too quick I didn't catch yah. You said something about Harvey what was that again?

Mirror: (Rolling her eyes until it pops out) No nothing I was just playing around..um well you know..oopps gosh my battery's low now 48%. Need to go.

Ayin: What?

Bleep! (So the mirror is really a laptop. If you're smart you'd figure)

Ayin: What the hell was that? Now I feel more like Josephine Potter... only I don't have a Pacey Witter with me. Darn. So now what? I wait? Oh no.

(End of monologue)(Starts bashing her conscience)

Floweret: Okay, for the record I am not looking. I am simply just killing time to wait for the next man who matter-of-factly knows how to treat a girl right. Who could unconditionally share a conversation with me even when there are no bottles of beer around. I am waitinf for that someone who could crack a joke in an untimely manner to leave me giggling even in my walk back to my estranged house at St. Ilian’s. Who could effortlessly (without bragging, mind you) carry on charisma at first sight. Who only pushes me aside when I’m at the wrong side of the road, not because his drinking buddies are already around. Who only gets mad at me for not praying at night not because I missed to answer his call or text at night. Who curses only at a physical fight, who only forgets the time when he’s with me, who respects my silence and my need to bash (which is pretty much most of the time), who only complains why I laugh so hard in public but laughs with me anyway. And lastly, wait for the man who doesn’t know how to admit to himself that he’s in-love with me but just shows me how much instead.

Ayin: Ayayay! How long will I have to wait then? This guys obviously lost on his way! I'm gonna need to find him.

"You don't have to"

...silence...(why does this seem to happen all the time? something wrong with the projector?)

(Ayin stops dead in her track, she was about to get her 3rd serving of coffee for the day and it's only 2pm)

Ayin: Mirs are you talking to me?

...silence...(are you counting?)

Ayin: Mirs, was that you?

...silence...(please can someone start playing music in the background? We're gonna have a problem here)

Bleep!