Friday, August 29, 2008

I Wait (The Explicit Conversation Edition)


(Ayin to herself facing a mirror which ironically looks like the laptop screen)

Ayin: So like this could really make me feel better huh.

Mirror: I don’t know, why don't you speak on it girl.

Ayin (with a contorted face of a hippogriff): Really, everyone knows I am not that patient over this matter. And God knows how I’ve suffered many times just attempting to even pretend I can tolerate holding my anticipation over my next sought after affair because I’m clearly a hopeless romantic. There. I said it.

...silence...divine intervention all of a sudden...

Mirror: You're a what? Girl, I haven't been paying too much attention on you since the first time you got shagged but dang keep talking!

Ayin: I'm tired of talking about this. And to even write about this, I mean, what gives me the f(_)cking reason in writing this up then? Is it because I’ve just decided to re-run Dawson’s Creek on my player and keep going back to episode 127 that I’m acting this way? Oh, don't put that in.

Mirror: Whatever you say sunshine.

Ayin: Is it because of Brandon Flowers who is utterly becoming the hottest guy in the universe with that seductive beard?

Mirror: Sure! He's hot and you've been posting his picture all over the place.

Ayin: No. It's Joshua Jackson.

Mirror: You are so elementary.

Ayin: I'm saying some guys really look good when they grew older.

Mirror: Oh please don't go there!

Ayin: Then what is it?!

Mirror: Do you really want me to say it?

Ayin: Say what?

Mirror: His name?

Ayin: Name? What name? I mean who's name? I mean what and who are you talking about?! (nostrils flaring )

Mirror: Hey, chill. I just want to make sure you want me to say his name.

Ayin: If that's you-know-who you can start killing me now.

Mirror: Come on, who wants to keep talking about you-know-who and what a jerk he turned out to be. But sure I can talk about him if you're enjoying yourself being stoned to death I could go on wi--

Ayin: Please, please, please shut it!

...silence...mirror (who ironically looks like the laptop screen) is rolling her eyes

Ayin: Stop that I can see you.

Mirror: See what?

Ayin: That! You're rolling your eyes at me. I know what that means.

Mirror: Oh really? Well, fire me up, what does that mean then?

Ayin: It means you're irritated of me, talking and acting like this again.

Mirror: Um...close.

Ayin: You hate me.

Mirror: Yeah probably because you're half awake all the time when you drink too much coffee everyday to even wake your soul, but to hell no I don't hate you.

Ayin: Gee thanks! Much for being my conscience but sorry I don't get you.

Mirror: You don't get it why I don't hate you?

Ayin: No I mean when you said I'm always half awake. I mean, what are you trying to say like I sleep walk to work and --

Mirror: ---and you hit your head on the post without noticing it. Exactly.

Ayin: Look, if you're talking abou--

Mirror: (talking hastily like a Puma, oh or whatever) Harvey, sure! That guy's madly in love with you and you don't see it. And now that he's gone because of your stupidity the least you can do is admit to yourself that you're mistaken, you want him back and that you do feel the same about him.

...silence...again...sounds of rapid heart beating is heard in the background like Ayin is about to win sweepstakes.

Ayin: What?

Mirror: what do you mean what?

Ayin: Shocks I'm sorry. Um... What was that you were saying. That was too quick I didn't catch yah. You said something about Harvey what was that again?

Mirror: (Rolling her eyes until it pops out) No nothing I was just playing well you know..oopps gosh my battery's low now 48%. Need to go.

Ayin: What?

Bleep! (So the mirror is really a laptop. If you're smart you'd figure)

Ayin: What the hell was that? Now I feel more like Josephine Potter... only I don't have a Pacey Witter with me. Darn. So now what? I wait? Oh no.

(End of monologue)(Starts bashing her conscience)

Floweret: Okay, for the record I am not looking. I am simply just killing time to wait for the next man who matter-of-factly knows how to treat a girl right. Who could unconditionally share a conversation with me even when there are no bottles of beer around. I am waitinf for that someone who could crack a joke in an untimely manner to leave me giggling even in my walk back to my estranged house at St. Ilian’s. Who could effortlessly (without bragging, mind you) carry on charisma at first sight. Who only pushes me aside when I’m at the wrong side of the road, not because his drinking buddies are already around. Who only gets mad at me for not praying at night not because I missed to answer his call or text at night. Who curses only at a physical fight, who only forgets the time when he’s with me, who respects my silence and my need to bash (which is pretty much most of the time), who only complains why I laugh so hard in public but laughs with me anyway. And lastly, wait for the man who doesn’t know how to admit to himself that he’s in-love with me but just shows me how much instead.

Ayin: Ayayay! How long will I have to wait then? This guys obviously lost on his way! I'm gonna need to find him.

"You don't have to"

...silence...(why does this seem to happen all the time? something wrong with the projector?)

(Ayin stops dead in her track, she was about to get her 3rd serving of coffee for the day and it's only 2pm)

Ayin: Mirs are you talking to me?

...silence...(are you counting?)

Ayin: Mirs, was that you?

...silence...(please can someone start playing music in the background? We're gonna have a problem here)


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