Monday, August 11, 2008


I sat in front of my computer, transfixed and lost in a trance. It’s already Monday and my mind is still buoyantly stuck on Sunday morning when I had Harvey Dent around. I closed my eyes softly and thought what transpired days before. Oh, how I miss him. Ahem. I opened my eyes again and there in front of me is my desk clustered with books from Zel, disarrayed printed out tutorial scripts, cable wires, wireless phone, half eaten crackers, cold coffee and a clear glass with last traces of soda and my huge Banana Republic bag. I was shaken out of my reverie. Seconds more I realized my index finger is inches away from the touchpad and the screen is stuck on Camtasia (again). I was suddenly reminded of the tutorial videos I have on deadline. I’d been daydreaming again.

It was the most wonderful feeling I’ve had in days and the bright blue sky above doesn’t have to do anything about that. I’ve locked myself up in my room burying my face on some Sheldon (The Best Laid Plans) and Coelho (Zahir) books when Harvey Dent game me the buzz of my life. He’s coming…in town!

Okay, shot it! I told myself. I stared at my pc unblinking. He was waving at me frantically like a child. He was mouthing some words I don’t understand but he was smiling widely and is making faces like always. I thought he’s just fooling around and so I frowned at him.

Then some words flashed in on screen. “Talk to me”, he typed in and waited for me to react. But I was too chicken to even move! I ducked down and started thinking he’s just kidding, he’s just kidding, he’s just kidding! In spite of myself I started typing in “Yey! When are you coming?” I was ready to bang my head on the wall when I realized I was eager to hear him answer my question.

I really don’t know why but every time I talk to Harvey Dent I always (relentlessly) hangs on his every word. He just sends chills up my spine and I get so much adrenaline I get so nervy and all that it take me ages to keep up with our chat. It’s not like I don’t know what to say but I just sometimes think why we’re so open and close to each other? That sort of thing really nags. He’d tell me how he’s been at work (and the people who’s been so nice to him there), what’s his current addiction (which I am not allowed to discuss to anyone without his approval), what his hands are doing (during our idle times on chat, he does sketches by the way, in case you’re wondering), what movie he had recently watched, how much money he had wasted on gasoline (and how much he wants to kill himself for even using his car to work), how he’s planning to go to Seattle (and take on the world), how he’s also planning to join Air Force (which I often refuse to discuss with him because I honestly don’t want him to go…err…just don’t want to talk to him about it – off the record), how happy he is now that he’s back with his family (and with his cute nephews as well), how much he was affected by the recent deaths in his family, his love for God, his love for arts and comics, and his love for his family.

Suddenly, a small thought inside my head brought a whole new meaning to what I had been thinking all the while. Harvey Dent never fooled about anything before. Then a rapid beating on my heart began and I stared at my computer screen in shock. He’s always serious about telling me things and is always persistent to make me believe in what he says. Slowly I walked away from the pc, turned around, walked over the door, closed it tightly, sat at the edge of my bed, took a deep breath, clamped my hand over my mouth and gave a silent yelp.

Amp! He’s really coming to town! Yipee! Harvey Dent is coming to town! This is so much like Christmas! Only he’s not Santa Claus. AHi-hi.

I hurried back on our chat and on impulse closed it. I thought I saw his reply on my question but I pushed it out of my mind. For a moment I got scared and thought of shutting down so I can forget about what he just said and go back to sleep. But I heard him chimed in again. I bit my lip and turned around. I gawked at the screen in utter astonishment. He was apologizing over and over for scaring me (because I was pretty obvious) and he was reasoning out that he just got carried away. There was a long pause, but he was still typing. Is he really coming over? Is that true? Are you really not fooling around Harvey Dent? Then he stopped typing, there was another long pause, and he was typing again. I was tempted to say something, to cut his guilt, apologize for my behavior and to argue about how he shocked me to death and how he should never lie to me again. When I stretched out, my fingers landed on the keyboard, a line flashed in, it said,

“I could come over, really, like promised. Just say so, so I can plan before going up to Air Force”

Dang! There goes Air Force again. He’s barely 24 and he’s already decided to kill himself by joining Air Force?! Oh what a waste. Then I saw him typing again, he goes

“I was going to join the Air force…(I soo know that!)"

"but now I'm having second thoughts”.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know you’re having a second…what?! Is that right? He’s having a second thought?


There goes that stupid beating on my heart again. All of a sudden I feel flushed with fever. I feel too weak to even type a two-lettered word. I can't believe he's changing his mind about Air Force! This is so good!

But I have to say something! Panic. I raked my brain for something to say. But my heart is beating wildly I can’t think! Hastily I pushed on the letters…

Pressed enter…

Then I shut down my pc.

What his reactions were about my last message I never knew. I don’t think I’m not ready to know.

I traced back my YM Message Archive to get the full details of our conversation but to my disappointment I forgot to enable the automatic save function so it's gone, forever. Fortunately, I have my last message carved heavily in my head. And this is what I had said:

“I’d rather have you here and do nothing for the rest of our lives than let you join Air Force. Please make up your mind.”

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