Maybe I think too much

I wondered, as I sit on my bed facing a very battered looking laptop in the middle of the night, why am I so pissed? The people around moves swiftly to bed gazing at me like I'm some kind of lunatic on the wall. And I thought how stupid of me to ever start my hands on a post for my blog again when there is nothing in this world that is worth thinking of but knowing how to be able to get my self to sleep. Because right now, sleep is impossible.

I don't know. Maybe because someone I had been expecting turned me down today. Sadness. Maybe the new task of finding the Super Proxy site is killing me. Horrible. Maybe because Christmas is too soon I still haven't got the time to window shop for my wish list. Oh, is there going to be a wish list? Maybe because it has been days that I am feeling so sickly. Sigh. Maybe because I just realized how hard I need to be bashed this Friday. Amfufu! Maybe because I miss someone so much I want to cry. Sadness! Maybe because there are migrating-to -foreign-land issues at work. No way. Maybe because I had been depriving myself of something with someone lately. Sadness!!! Maybe because I'm still not over my eating disorder. Idiot me. Or maybe... just maybe... I think too much.

Oh whatever. It's just a very very sad and lonely night for me. You wouldn't want me to capture this moment on camera or you'd be broken-hearted too.

PS. To all the people who had been affected by this post. I'm sorry. I didn't intend to be hurt, to share the hurt and then hurt you in turn . I just think I have this abandonment issues going on with me that I'm having a hard time dealing with right at this very moment. So please, bare with me.