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Ask me anything http://www.formspring.me/aynakowes

What do you do to relax?

listen to music. i have a playlist on my phone that says "Press button to Eject". That means you press it when you want to eject the stress away ^___^

Ask me anything

What's your favorite thing about staying in a hotel over the holidays?

The breakfast buffet

Ask me anything

If you could kiss any celebrity at midnight on New Year’s Eve, who would it be?

Johnny Depp

Ask me anything

What movie makes you laugh?

White chicks, Shaun of the Dead, Run Fatboy Run and Hot Fuzz. Practically any movie that has Simon Pegg in it.

Ask me anything

Do you like shopping for clothes?

Totally! It just gives me this Fanta-bulous feeling you'll never gonna get from yoga. I mean, seriously, we're talking about a special kind of meditation here, right?

Ask me anything

What made you smile today?

The cork board I saw at the office supplies store. I'd been wanting one on my apartment.

Ask me anything

Which do you like better - football (NFL) or football (soccer)?

Though I haven't watched an entire game of both, I think I'd still choose Soccer. The sport is a little close to my heart.

Ask me anything

Where's the best place in your hometown to get a great burger or milkshake?

Army Navy for AMAZING burgers and delish milkshake. Totally in love their burgers.

Ask me anything

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Ask me questions about what happened last night? http://www.formspring.me/aynakowes

What's one of your earliest memories?

riding a bike with some friends around the village where I grew up. Street kid I was. Happy childhood.

Ask me anything

What holiday traditions do you and your family celebrate?

Christmas and New Year. Sending fireworks out into the midnight sky is just awesome!!!

Ask me anything

What's the last funny video you watched online?

Those banned TV Ads. That Adam & Eve AXE commercial was the best! Threw me off the wall laughing

Ask me anything

How did you celebrate your last birthday?

Spent the rest of the day - after work - with my boyfriend. We ate A LOT! By the way it rained so hard, we got so wet which made us laugh so hard too. We've never bathe in the rain together! How lovely..

Ask me anything

What are you looking forward to?

MJ, Andy, Allen and Vince hanging out on my pad this weekend. Yeeahh

Ask me anything

What made you smile today?

That little opening up to a new friend in the office.

Ask me anything

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Ask me questions about Friends http://www.formspring.me/aynakowes

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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/aynakowes

1985

Twenty-six years ago, in the warm morning of June, I cried my first lungful of air. My mother, Irene, still exhausted and crying over the pain I brought upon her (it was also her first), forgot all about the importance of a first name. Instead of thinking of a name related to our culture (a cross between Latin and Chinese) or our religion (Catholic), she came up with the easiest letter in the alphabet that’s after Papa’s name, and then looked out the window of the Emergency room and cleverly thought of…a rainbow.

They then tried to write it with style. And, as if they knew I would like my name by doing this, they finally decided that it would mean the world to me if my name stands alone…just all by itself before our family name. Hereafter, this is where our story transpires.

In my entrance to the world plays the song “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears and as the year ends I was concluded by “Careless Whisper” by Wham! I heard somebody said before that the song that was number one on the same year you were born will serve as the soundtrack of your life. Like a theme that explains every teeth-gritting, nerve-racking, brain-freezing, heart-pounding, feet-jumping, butt-tossing, hand-clapping, throat-grazing episodes of your life. So just go figure.

In history, on the same year I was born people were already confronted by another girl whose character punches more than her own fists can, around the world and across every nation. Her name was Madonna. Her “Like a Virgin” hit was first heard during the time my body inside my Mama’s tummy is beginning to look more human. Oh, I could go on narrating my birth like this, you know. But I’ll spare you the details because I don’t want you to think of what a creep I am. So instead, I’ve listed some important events in history that transpired during the time I was born. But you know this won’t really change anything. Like my name. Fuck that. Anyway, I wish I could have anything changed by this, but no. However, perhaps, with high hopes, it can somehow change the way you perceive me.

In1985…

…the teen drama movie The Breakfast Club was born.

…the first (and the highest-grossing) Back to the Future film was released.

…the Color Purple by Steven Spielberg (my favorite unconventional pick from the couch movie) was released. This was Whoopi Goldberg’s and Oprah Winfrey’s film debut.

…here in the Philippines, Scorpion Nights by Peque Gallaga was shown. If you’ve researched enough about the popularity of this film, you should know that a Korean movie release in 2001 called Summertime was based on the story of this Pinoy pride.

…The Goonies that starred Lord of the Rings’ Sam – Sean Astin – first starred in.

…Amanda Seyfried who played the Red Riding Hood on its re-maked version this year, Kaley Cuoco of the Big Bang Theory and Yulia Volkova from T.A.T.U were born.

Ok, so what does that mean? What the hell am I trying to imply here? Um... I don't know. I was just hoping I'd have some other basis in explaining whatever I have become today. Ok, well going back to hoping I'd made you change your perception of me. Seriously now, I don’t want to change anything. Except for my name. I mean, why not Alyson or Ericka or Gabriella…Amanda? Kaley? How about Yulia or Mila or Angelina…or (insert name here)

Dear Friends,

To the very few of you who could get the RIGHT date of my birthday, here’s the only gift that I would ask from you.

On a piece of paper, or a a blank sheet of e-mail page, write anything you think of me, anything that reminds you of me, how you see me, how you feel about me, and what you really, really, really you want to tell me. If it happens that we’ve only met once, tell me what you thought of me that first time you saw me. If in any case we have only been acquainted because of a common friend, tell me what made you consider me deserve your friendship. Tell me a story that connects you to me or me to you. What makes us clique? What me us talk a while? What made us laugh? What made us cry? Or, what made you sit beside me and share a conversations that starts with just the simple acceptance of letting me stay beside you?

Write a little longer for me as I enjoy reading too much that it will surely hurt me to read just a few lines. After this, send the piece of paper to this address:

#3 Cor Apollo and Ares Dr. Grandvalley Ph-2 Mahabang Parang Angono, Rizal

or e-mail that to me at:

aynakowes@yahoo.com

My birthday is exactly a month from this date. So you have plenty of time to send your letters. I really hope to get a letter from you by then. Because your letter could mean a whole lot more to me. You just don’t know it. Your letter could tell a story about me even I myself have never ever heard of before. And your letter could make that difference a twenty-six year gap from 1985 has never done before.

Ayn on Myspace

I wrote this when I was like 17 years old. This is how I think and talk back then. Unbelievable. I couldn't imagine how much I've changed since then. Reading this made me laugh but nonetheless made me think of how I look at life and everything else around me during that time. I wish I could be like this once again. Because I'm pretty sure I don't think like this the way I do now. Read on and see what I mean.

"I am forever the girl who's mind is traveling the world... Not lost...just wandering around. They say I'm witty and easy to get along with... I say I'm just simply not the ordinary type... Or they may not know me that well. I'm unconventional and unpredictable... Sometimes people can't stand my guts to just do things the way I want to... I don't blame them... I'm just not that easy. Love, in my opinion, is not blind, it just don't choose to see... Life, I say, is multi-dimensional, never one sided... People, for me, are friends, waiting to be invited to the next block party..."

On Going Mobile

“Look, I really don’t know what to say about this, but – um – I’m really not so sure about getting a twitter account, you know. I mean, I want it. I know I’ll need it. I know I can use it. I’ll sure know how to use it when I get my hands on it. But I just don’t think I’m up for this just yet."

Why?

Well – um – it’s pretty simple. I have to have a new phone.

I’m not really very much into the latest gadgets you see. I don’t even know what the hell an android phone is. And what are the rest of them again? But I’m not that dumb okay. See I just can hardly identify any practical phone that is considered an innovation to the rest that are out there but I would like to say that I do want to get my hands on one.

Yeah I do!

For real.

In the following months I plan to set aside at least 10% of my monthly salary so that I can come up with a huge amount of money. And I’m not kidding yah. I really plan to buy something that’s worth smashing and crashing. I want to buy something that will break my heart into bits to be stolen when I unconsciously sleep my way on a jeep to Antipolo. I want something that I can parade to my rivals when I pass by them somewhere in some place. And that something that still looks wickedly sleek even when not in use but nonetheless will carry my books around and show me the world without me having to leave my room. A new boyfriend.



Kidding.

To satisfy my aching heart – for a mobile phone that is – I browse the Internet to look for that perfect object of affection. I found a lot. A LOT!

A lot?

Not a lot for buildings you dammit. A lot of stuff, things, mobile phones, narwhals, unicorns, the great cthulhu, Gaiman making fun of Lovecraft, The Romanovs and what’s Rasputin got to do with them and that kinda stuff! Whew! Oh shit, wrong tab.

No, seriously, I found a lot of stuff. The mobile communication industry is definitely booming taking over the dining table, serving you almost everything more than you’ll ever need and filling your plate to the extent where the only effort you’ll ever have to make is to put your dumb fingers on them to feed yourself alone. But don’t fret; they just might look into that option of feeding you by themselves as well if we’re not so dumb enough. Just might.

On this note without much further commotion I bring you 3 mobile phones I might consider buying in the future.

PS. - I’m not a brand conscious person because I honestly don’t know what’s so good about them, you know. But I’m really very mindful about the pricing and up to what level of euphoria it gets me to.

HTC Wildfire. Look at how sexy this is. Not to mention the richness of the color it has on its body. Is that the color of a wildfire? Honestly, the reason I chose this phone is because I'm kinda tired of the Nokia phones already and so as with the temporary high I'm sure I'll only get with the iPhone series. So I tried to find myself the perfect alternative. I just hope this phone will make me go wild positively though.

Samsung Corby Pro (B5310) I have a thing for Samsung phones, you know. That's why I was thinking I'm most probably inclined to buy this one no matter how much I talk about the others. My reason might be the price but I really don't know yet.

Lastly....

Blackberry Bold 9780. This will probably the best bet. Only I was thinking about the thing my friend told me about when we saw one. You need to get a line to maintain a happy ever after with that. And the butterflies are gone.

Another PS. (because I'm a girl) - I also want a camera. Oh yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with going mobile or Twitter. But, well, just in case you ask what I want as a present for my birhtday :)

Loving Bore-[duh]-m

Almost everyday of my work life is a stretch between being burned-out to zombie bored. What with all these Link Acquisition stuff I can’t get done?! Anyway, it’s not our problem. So I won’t bore you with the details that go beyond both our comprehension… blah…blah… blah.

The typical day at work doesn’t end with a few sigh deserving blogs and laughing moments from our favorite blogs and online comic site. So my advice is if you’re bored to death in your fully reclinable chair get a laughing fix from one of these awesome sites. But if your nutshell’s pretty dense well… I don’t know what else to do about you.

http://theoatmeal.com/ - Hilarity at its best. And they're really selling their comic books. How cool is that?

http://www.musicphilosophy.co.uk/ - “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die…” No, you won't find this line on this site but I just have this song on my brain since Friday night I went out with my office friends. Sorry.

http://designcorner.blinkr.net/ - found this site from my Link Acquisition feat. Architects beware.

http://aht.seriouseats.com/ - a hamburger a day keeps you sane all day.

http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2009/09/a-guide-to-glossary-of-regional-american-burger-cheeseburger-styles-and-cooking-methods.html#fancypantsburgers – this page from the main site is lethal. You open it and you’re done. Don’t say I didn’t warn yah!

http://mensa-test.com/ - I only get to finish quiz 1 and it took me the whole day to answer them all with the help of my seatmate Mariang Busog. Is it heavy? No. It’s totally wicked!

http://oof.cc/literature/youth-culture/sweet/haruki-murakami/a-fine-day-for-kangarooing/12.htm - One page of Murakami's greatness is enough to give me that much inspiration to continue writing my book. LOL

http://noms.icanhascheezburger.com/ - watch out for the cats!

http://www.lostateminor.com/ - from one of my Link Acquisition feat. Nope, this is not deviantart.com you’re looking at.

http://designforjapan.tumblr.com/ - This is Design for Japan. This is the site where I realized that the colors Red and White are now my most favorite colors.

To cap off our list of sites to keep the boredom away, here's one page I'm syre you will always look at each and everytime you don't get to eat Bacon - 100 ways to use a stick of bacon


Here's to a less boring day at work. Cheers!

How Addicted to Facebook Am I?

Created by Oatmeal

Tsssssss!

Here's a list of people who makes me loose my cool on a fine day like this.

DISCLAIMER: Not intended to be read by anyone who has the tendency to be hurt by their own pride. Egoistic bastards may leave but if you're fine, then be my guest.

10. People whose job is to speak to Americans yet are not able to convey well with the language required.

9. People who play with their keyboard or is probably tapping it too loud so everyone inside the building can hear that they’re freaking busy working. But we don’t know honestly, we’re not so sure what you do because I think you’re still not tapping loud enough for us to determine this.

8. People who leave traces of what they ate for snack on the desk and on the carpeted floor consequently attracting the building mouse to our floor, stupid!

7. People who post their pictures on the cubicle wall as if it is their very own photo album subsequently turning it into their bedroom complete with post-its from their special someone.

6. People who say their farewells for the day to co-workers repeatedly, like repeatedly you know for the nth time you know that it’s been like 15mins from the time they initiated to leave to the time they actually made the leave. Some times I want to offer my leg to just kick them out the door. Long goodbyes are always an awkward feat, I know. But just get the hell out of here!!!

5. People who put up the seat cover of the toilet bowl. I sometimes think I’m in the wrong room. Only men do that when they pee on the toilet bowl if you know manners.

4. And talking about manners, you don’t cheer your own office mates to piss other office mates because you think your own office mates are doing well (sarcastically singing out of their wits) and are better than your other office mates.

3. People who don’t take responsibility of what they’re really responsible for.

2. People who sing aloud the entire Tatooed on my Mind song inside an office with a good number of copywriters and SEO Specialists.

1. People who laughs boisterously inside an office with a good number of copywriters and SEO Specialists.

Hidden connotation of this post: Shame on you people who mean nothing but piss me off my work mode! Shame on you!

What's next?

I will definitely train for this. Hope to see you all there! ^_^

Hyundai Run for a Cause 2011

Walking in the monumental street leading to the Quirino Grandstand at around 4:30 in the morning seems strangely easy. But running isn't.

Straight from the land of cold waters in the morning and wind-burnt people Antipolo City I head straight to Kamias road for a rendevouz with my running mate Anak Ni Matchete at exactly 3am. After a couple more minutes of trying to look awesome in our Singlets and running outfits, we finally waved my partners dear doggies goodbye and decided to head out the door and commute to the venue.

For a total of P170 we got to Quirino Grandstand at exactly 4:30am. We had to step out of the cab a block away from the venue proper since there's already a heavy traffic leading to the entrance of the stadium and not to mention our meter's already ticked too much to bare. The moment I stepped out of the cab and my feet hit the concreted streets the can of Baccus started to kick in. I walked so eagerly to the bathroom to relieve myself and took so much time to pin my Bib on when a booming voice was heard all over the place.

The Hyundai Fun Run 2011 is about to begin.

Uh-oh!
Standing before the stage watching and heartily following Regine Tolentino and Boom Gonzales demonstrate some warm-up exercises for us runners I repeatedly heard them say "so…the gunstart is about to go in a few minutes for our runners of 10k Wave A". Then it dawned at me, "what the hell are we doing here watching this program when we're supposed to be at the starting line?!" We were for 10K Wave C, by the way. "And where is the Starting Line anyway?!" I continued evidently alarmed at the thought. Startled, my partner began asking random people and then finally event marshalls about where we're supposed to be. Freaking out in the middle of an already catastrophic state of a beginner makes you pee more. So I made another trip to the portalet and the necessary sign of the cross praying my feet, knees, heart and lungs don't give in. Then suddenly the gunstart was off for the first wave. This means we must be in our freaking position.

Walking to the square for Wave C my partner met a couple of familiar faces. Watching them and hearing them talk animatedly about their anticipations of this run and I’m just left standing there amidst some giants and running veterans in the tracking field (be it literally, i have to say) made me feel so damn weird. I see numerous people who have gadgets clasped on their arms for seems like a personal time recordings or something, earphones clogged in their ears and all that, great looking running shoes and guess what? No bags! No bags!!! Hell yeah not one tiny bit of luggage with them! Timidly I looked at my self and was horrified at how poorly dressed I am. Thank God I have here a 5’9 male running mate who can carry my backpack effortlessly because if I don’t I’d probably just be watching this run from the sidelines.

As soon as my partner and his friends (I didn’t catch his name. I was probably busy flexing my muscles you know) were done talking we started to make our way to the front of the line. Moments later my gaze fell on the gigantic silk screen at the right side of the road. From that thing, my partner and I saw how unbelievably populated this event is. It’s like half of the entire oval of the Quirino Grandstand was covered with people donning the white, blue and green Hyundai Fun Run singlet.

And I was like...baby...baby...baby...whoah! There were hundreds, if not thousands of eager beavers who woke up this early just to run. And I'm not exagerrating this, okay. Because as I stand in line here at the square with fellow Wave C runners, I can see that there are still a hundred more behind us getting ready for their turn to run. Amazed as I was suddenly something nagged. I realized that I haven't done enough warm-up yet! Oh what, that Regine-Tolentino-warm-up exercise? Um, well...yeah. Actually, my legs feel just fine so I think I'm good. Ok, not that this is a real marathon or anything it's just that I'm concerned about finishing this run and still have my legs on in one-piece when it's all done. Seriously. But as I think about doing another round of warm-up another gunstart was fired and Wave B was off. Slowly as the departing wave fade in the break of dawn our wave was asked to move forward before the starting line. Our wave started hooting, cheering, clapping and then raising their fists with euphoric anticipation because in about 30mins we will be the next ones running our ass off the street. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I need to pee again!


Going for it
Hey have I told you that this was my first time running a marathon? No? Oh… yeah I didn't. Well, that's probably because I kept telling myself that I'm really not so new about this too. You see, incase you didn't notice, I also do have some athletic skills if you don’t mind me saying. Yeah well I know I lack the height for one but believe me I am athletic! You know when I was in Elementary I was my classmates hero in Soccer. It stopped when my father bought me a set of roller blades. For 2 years in high school I was a varsity Softball player, second base and a hitter. That also stopped when my boobs started getting bigger. Then very recently I learned swimming and ultimate frisbee. It stopped because I had a boyfriend who was so in to longboarding that I got myself hooked on it as well. You see? I'm okay, right? I can do it! I can do this!

I...

can...

do...

this?

Now stop. Freeze. Rewind.

Two weeks ago Anak Ni Machete registered himself for this free fun run offered by Korean car company Hyundai. He asked if I want to join him knowing I'm into being fit as well and that I'm into doing stuff I haven't tried yet. Ultimately, said yes. Since the registration for the 5K run was already full and there were only two choices of either 5K or 10K run we chose the 10K instead. Back then nothing about this seemed to matter to me. Until one day when I had the chance to finally assess my planner and count the days before the run was when I realized that we only have two weeks left to train.

Two weeks. That's all we have. Running tips and forum sites were always saying we needed at least 8 weeks to prepare for the 10K, needless to say for us to be able to run with body unharmed. So, being the scaredy-cat at first-times I trained like mad. I stopped smoking leisurely, ate rightfully and jogged as much as I can after work, at night or during the weekends. The first week I trained together with my partner, Anak Ni Matchete, since he has the right training tools in his place. But when I finally moved back to my hometown I had to just jogged on my own around our Subdivision. All in all I was able to improve my running capacity. Before, I could run 3 minutes before collapsing. Now, I could do 10! Wuhoo!!!


Back to reality
Do I really think I can do this? Is 10 minutes running capacity enough for this 10-kilometer run? Thinking about it again I nearly collapsed in utter bewilderment when a photographer asked for a photo of me with my partner the towering Anak Ni Machete. I hurriedly put my weight on him and smiled scarcely for the camera. After the photographer left our side my partner turned to me, smiled sweetly and cheered to me convincingly the world's greatest one word motivator of all "yes!!!" Suddenly, we were off.


Hi-ho, Silver, away!
Walking – Jogging – Running. Then I go back to walking again. Went back to jogging again. Now I’m running again. Honestly, I don’t know how to describe to you entirely how good it felt for me running that 10K stretch from the *Quirino Grandstand to Edsa but I guess all I can say is that I made it! I really, really, really made it! I may have done the run-walk-run thing but for me that's not bad at all knowing that when I saw the 5K mark I realized I wasn't that too tired yet and that I still want to keep going!

I kept telling myself that maybe part of my sudden outburst of strength should be credited to the can of energy drink and carbs I had about an hour before the run. But then again I realized that the real motivation came from somewhere right over here. Yeah, this spot that relates to you how epic that run was and how positive that this won't be the last marathon I'll take on. Yeah, I really think I should say I owe it to myself. So thank you, dear self, for not giving up and for allowing yourself to improve physically. Also, thank you to my partner – Anak Ni Machete – who’s been with me through defying moments while preparing for this run and in the end had to drag me by the hand to the finish line because my eyes are getting hot with tears, tears that may have been drawn out of joy or out of almost ceaseless feat of physical exertion, just so we both finish what we’ve already started. To my new idol Jerry Radam, thank you! I have to say that it was you who posted that Hyundai Fun Run link and influenced my partner to register us both. Lastly, thank you Hyundai for this opportunity. You guys are so kind. I love you with all my heart.

Okay, well I think now I can say it's not that hard running around Quirino Grandstand in the wee hours of the day. But then again I guess that's just easily done when you've had enough Baccus in you, you have a skilled carved out of wood partner, and your fitness idol does not go by the name of Regine Tolentino. He-he. Peace out.

HERE'S MY RACE RESULT: "I swear, I'm going to do better next time."


* According to runners who had garmins, that stretch from Quirion Grandstand to Edsa
is not exactly 10 Kilometers. The organizers added 3-4km more.

Ang tumawa chief at wa-class!

This is so funny. Really. So funny that I'm gonna have to warn you not to laugh so hard because you'll look chief at wa-class! Oh but what the hell. Go ahead -_-

But don't say I didn't warn yah...

Top Dumbest things You've Heard on TV (Greatest hits)

1. News Anchor: “So ano naman ang reaksyon ng mga biktima?” Field Reporter: “Na-bad trip.”

2. Host: “Masarap kagatin, pero hindi puwede kainin?” Contestant: “Bakal?"

3. From an entertainment talk show, an actor was asked, “So your father is a policeman in Europe?” He answered: “Hindi po sa Europe...sa France po."

4. Host: “What is your best PHYSICAL asset?” Contestant: “I’m very understanding.”

5. Host: “Kung ang blue ay bughaw, ano naman ang yellow?” Contestant: “Ice?”

6. During Ondoy, a reporter asked someone who was crying because he lost his family and home to the floods: “Ano pong nararamdaman niyo ngayon?"

7. Host: “What is the fastest animal?” Contestant: “Lydia De Vega?”

8. Host: “In what country do Hindus live?” Contestant: “Hindunesia?”

9. Host: “Ano ang matatagpuan mo sa gitna ng donut?” Contestant: “Palaman?”

10. A reporter interviewing a newly crowned Ms. Universe: “If you marry, will you become Mrs. Universe?”

11. Edu: “Ano ang binibigay ng kundktor ng bus sa pasahero na nagsisimula sa letrang ‘T’?” Ian Veneracion: “Tukli?”

12. John Pratts: “Ano ibig sabihin ng ‘no loading’?” Man on the street: “Bawal gumamit ng cellphone?”

13. Host: “Sa pelikulang MI2, ano ang ibig sabihin ng MI?” Contestant: “Men In?”

14. Host: “Ano sa English ang Pasko Ng Pagkabuhay?” Contestant: “Haleluya?”

15. Host: “If you could live forever, would you and why?” Contestant: “I would not live forever, because if we could live forever, we would live forever. But we cannot live forever, so I would not live forever.”

16. Host: “If you were on a boat and could only save either your mother or father, who would you save?” Contestant: “Me on boat? BOAT of dem.”

17. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang green?” Contestant: “Birdie?”

18. Host: “If you could promote one tourist spot in the Philippines, which would it be?” Contestant: “Bocaue Rice Terraces.”

19. Weather reporter: “Pepeng, lumalaki papasok sa Pilipinas!”

20. Host: “Have you tried sky diving?” Guest 1: “I’m afraid not.” Host: “What about you?” Guest 2: “Me, I’m afraid.”

21. Host: “Sa school, ano ang kailangan ipasang finished or not finished?” Contestant: “Finished! Sigurado ako, finished!"

22. Richard Gomez: “Magbigay ng pagkain na mabaho!” Tessa Prieto-Valdez: “Tae?”

23. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Huling Hapunan!

24. Host: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng manok o mata ng tao?” Contestant: “Itlog ng tao!”

25. In Kuarta o Kahon. Pepe Pimentel: "Ano ang common name ng Sodium Chloride?" Contestant: (di makasagot, kailangan pa ng clue). Pepe: "Sige, ito yung inilalagay mo sa itlog ni mister tuwing umaga!" Contestan : (excited na sumagot) Ah! Johnson's Baby Powder!"

26. In a beauty contest the host asked, "What do you think is your edge among the other contestants here in this pageant?" Contestant: "My edge, well I'm 23 years old."

27. A sexy star was asked about her comments on the nasty stuff another sexy star was saying about her. Her reply: “Sorry, I won’t snoop down to her label. She’s chief and wa-class!”


Toinnnkkk... XD

Quizzes for Hearts Day!

How Happy are you? Quiz - Your score is 48 %.

You experience many happy moments

The happy person likes to do useful, productive work, to use his abilities fully. He enjoys helping people, but is not self-sacrificing. At night, sleep researchers have found, he has little trouble falling asleep. He tends to be self-sufficient and can enjoy both solitude and company but is dependent on neither. Generally, he's orderly and punctual.

Though tolerant of people's minor flaws, the happy person dislikes cruelty and destructiveness. He is healthy, has no hang-ups about prosperity, and refuses to participate in other people's negative emotions - or cling to his own. When choosing a mate, he will pick a congenial, compatible, figure rather than someone romantic and glamorous. Like many busy, absorbed people, he feels days pass quickly, though in large units - weeks, months, years- time may seem endless. Finally, the happy person has a sense of progress, improvement, of getting somewhere.

Link: http://www.gagirl.com/quiz/happy.html

***

Who's your leading man? - Test results

For 40 % you are: Dimitri! He's strong and handsome and knows that you can't be together, but you love each other more then anything and would never stop. He makes sure you stay out of trouble but sometimes if he's in it, you just have to help and would risk your life for his. He would do the same for you.
34.0858 % of 1329 Quiz participants had this profile!

Link: http://www.allthetests.com/quiz26/quiz/1264462197/Whos-your-leading-man

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Ladies, who is your famous match? - Test results

For 30 % you are: Derek Hough:.
A very talented dancer on the hit show, Dancing with the Stars. He's absolutely the funniest person I've ever seen...and very sweet too.
21.8920 % of 5317 Quiz participants had this profile!

You could also get this result:
For 20 % you are: James Marsden:.

So cute, and so playful. Known for his role in movies like "27 Dresses"<--Go watch it now. Or even this one:
For 20 % you are: Adrian Grenier:.

Who can resist that smile and sweet-heart attitude, not to mention that exotic look of his.

Or even this one:
For 20 % you are: Leonardo DiCaprio:.

An amazing actor who is very kind hearted.

Known for his role in "Titanic"<--Go watch it now. Or even this one:
For 10 % you are: Josh Holloway:.

One of the leading men in the hit show "LOST". He's known for his bad boy role on TV, but is very sweet and such a family man in real life...

Your profile is 100% 75% 50% 25% Profile A B C D E

Our users got the following profiles 100% 75% 50% 25% Profile A B C D E

Link: http://www.allthetests.com/quiz26/quiz/1264727702/Ladies-who-is-your-famous-match

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What is your dream guy? - Test results

For 40 % you are: If you mostly C's your dream guy is Justin Bieber. You both love to sing and care about others. You don't like to brag a lot, either.
37.4554 % of 3081 Quiz participants had this profile!

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Are You A Babe? Quiz

You are a Babe! You are very appealing to a man and have great inner beauty and strength as well as physical attractiveness. You take pride in your appearance and like a man who appreciates it! You like being accepted as a person rather than a sex symbol and you like a man who is intelligent as well as good looking.

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Ice Cream Personality Quiz -

A: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

You're a natural leader, and always aim high. A total go-getter, you won't give up until you've achieved all that you wanted to do!

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Chocolate Personality Quiz -

A: Butterfinger Candy Bar

Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time.

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Pizza Personality Quiz - A: "New York-style" Pizza

You are a traditionalists at heart. You enjoy spending time with your family and enjoy playing sports on the weekends. The movies you prefer are action-adventure or comedy. You're known to others as the "Brainiac."

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Shower Personality Quiz - A: hair first.

Those who wash their hair first are the artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby but you can achieve what most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking but you will work tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not important to you. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic types. You make the best lover as you are most willing to explore and please your partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best partner in life will be those who chose chest.

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Sleep Personality Quiz - A: freefaller

People who sleep in the freefaller position:

Hold strong beliefs and try to have everything done precisely the way they want. Are tense, focused, and stubborn. Are passionate about everything they do. Are outgoing and brash, they tend to shock those who know them well. Tend to be selfish. They are the most likely type to hog the covers. Are sensitive to criticism. Gravitate toward comfort and cannot handle tense or dramatic situations.

20 excuses why i walk out on you

20. you're not talking to me.
19. i'm talking to you and still you're not talking back.
18. i'm asking a question and your best answer is a snore.
17. i look at you and you turn to your pillow.
16. i laugh with you and then after a while you laugh at me.
15. i cry and you just wait and see till i stop.
14. i still want to talk and you still want to sleep.
13. i get sick and the only thing you mean to do is tell me to take care of myself.
12. you are insanely funny, ambitious, adventurous and unbelieavably full of life out with them but when you're alone with me you're a clam.
11. your idea of a joke is about me and my pathetic height.
10. you think it's always about you.
09. you think it's always about me.
08. you don't think it's about us.
07. you don't think i understand.
06. you don't think i feel the same.
05. you don't know the essence of "right timing"
04. you think you're right.
03. you think i'm wrong.
02. you stop listening.
01. you allow me to walk out on you.

Bob Ong Quotes

Idol ko si Bob Ong. Nung mabasa ko yung mga libro nya - ABNKKBSNPLAko, Stainless Longganisa, Ang Paboritong Libro Ni Hudas, atbp. - ay agad akong naka-relate sa kanya.

Isang araw habang nag su-surf ako ng kung ano ano sa hinalipak na internet na yan na walang ginawa kundi sayangin ang oras ko ay namatyagan ko ang mga quotes daw ni Bob Ong. Kinopya ko at balak kong i-forward sa mga ofismeyt kong napapraning na katatrabaho kaso nakalimutan ko.

Ngayun, imbes na i-forward ko sa email, eto at ipinost ko na lang dito sa blog ko. Gusto ko sanang banggitin kung saan blog ko nakopya pero nalimutan ko na... tsaka kinopya din lang naman nya to e. Di ko nais na nakawin ito sa idol ko, kasi para sakin ito'y isang paraan lamang din ng pagtangkilik. Sa mga babasa, bilhin nyo ang libro niya at sigurado akong mauutot kayo sa katatawa.

Dito, maaari kang tumawa, maaari kang umiyak, or matulala kakaisip sa mga bawat linyang mababasa. Pwede mong gamiting status sa Facebook at Plurk mo or i-repost sa sarili mong blog. Wag na wag ka lang papahuli sa IT department nyo. Kasi yari ka! Kaya eto na...

PAG-IBIG

“Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para
mahalin ka nya..”

“Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga
lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon.”

“Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak
para alagaan ang sarili mo.”

“Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”

“Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”

“Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

“Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung
walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”

“Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay
mo..Dapat lumandi ka din.”

“Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na
araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”

“Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi
pagkukusa.”

“Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin
na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”

“Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag
natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?”

“Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na
sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang
makasama ka.”

“Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang
puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo.
Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang
hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit?
Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo
sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang
tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa
lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”

PAG-AARAL

“Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka
pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga
araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher.
(Haaay, sarap!).”

“Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng
syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung
kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university,
maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung
nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba’t-ibang paraan. tanging
diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang
iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan…”

“Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang
paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga
taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa.”

“dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung ‘di mo pagtityagaan, limang
dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang ‘yan ng
mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela.”

BUHAY

“nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito
multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-
blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan
ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may
kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.”

“Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang
nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang
umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung
saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.”

“Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya,
palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may
pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde.
Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng
buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng
walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.”

“Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo
mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of
World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi.
wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo.
Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat
nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira
sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo
yung moral lesson?”

“Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon
ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos
ang oras.”

HALO-HALO

“Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap,
mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng
kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling
mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman.
Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e
nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.”

“ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”

“hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?”

“hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay
kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay
katotohanan. ”

“Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong
sa’yo - ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro
namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e
gumagana ang utak ng tao.”

“Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto,
responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko.”

“Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao,
tulad ko.”

“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa
paggawa ng wala.”

“iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala.”

“iba ang informal gramar sa mali !!!”

” Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay yun,
dapat matagal na kong patay.”

“Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan. In
English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!”

Top Ten Lists of All Those Sh!t That Really Made My Day =)

The Top Ten Bloopers – Astroboy.

1. No name/Richard – During a game show. Host: “Pagkain na mabaho.” Tessa Prieto: “Tae!”
2. No name/Elec – Weakest Link. Edu: “Ano mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol na tao?” Contestant: “Itlog ng tao!”
3. Knightwing/Jorik – Me, at a drive-thru: “Miss puwede takeout?”
4. Jo – Starlet promoting her new movie: “Showing na po and pelikula namin on the twenty-twoth of May!” (May 22)
5. Zeni – Lady offering to switch chicken parts with a priest who got the neck part: “Father, you want my breast?”
6. Racer – At a call center. HR: “Walk-in?” Applicant: “No, commute.”
7. Taurean Tiger/Specialist – Secretary on the phone: “Mr. Manalo is out of town eh, would you like to wait?”
8. Paul – Pinay with foreigner in a resto: “(burps) Wow, I’m fed up already!”
9. Astroboy – Host: “Ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?” Contestant: “Sunog!”
10. Astroboy – Host: “Ano ang inaayos sa hangar?” Contestant: “Yung sira!”
11. No name – My sister in a fancy resto: “Ang lamb chops ba gawa sa GOAT?”
12. His Cuteness – Mom on the phone with her daughter. Mom: “O anak, nasaan ka na?” Daughetr: “Sa ospital po.” Mom: “(panics) ANO?!? Diyos ko anak, ano nangyari?” Daughter: “Nay, nurse po ako.”
13. Specialist – Friend ordering at a burger joint: “Miss, isang burger with cheese, at isang meron.”
14. Frederique – Ordering at a dimsum resto: “Miss, isa ngang siomao, este, siopai! Sige, mami na lang…”
15. No name – Officemate buying snacks: “Bayad, etong neneng ko.”
16. Calypso – Friend talking on his cellphone: “Hello? HELLO?!? Ano ba to, call o text?”
17. No name – Game Ka Na Ba. Kris: “Ano ang tawag sa daliri sa paa?” Angelica Jones: “Fingerlings!”
18. AJ – Friend: “Ang favorite kong band, yung Spongebob Cola!”
19. Strike – I work at a hospital. One day, a man barged into the ER with a huge wound slashed across his neck, with blood spurting all over! One nurse approached him and calmly asked: “Ano po ang problema?”
20. Shy Guy 79 – Friend ordering: “Miss isang breast, puwede yung kaliwa?”
21. Ayti-Eyti/Specialist/Rodel – At a beauty pageant. Host: “What part of the Philippines would you promote to foreigner?” Girl: “Bocaue.” Host: “Why?” Girl: “Because of the Bocaue Rice Terraces.”
22. Abby – At a fastfood. Me: “Miss, isa ngang fork.” Countergirl: “Ano fong klaseng fork. emfanada?”

Top Ten Driver/Barker Quotes - Astro Boy

1. Lekizz – The driver told the passengers: “Pasok pa, maluwag pa yan, parang galing Japan!”
2. Ogs – I rode a tricycle and told the driver: “Lakad na po tayo.” He said: “Gusto mo palang maglakad, eh bakit ka sumakay ng tricycle?”
3. No name – My tita rode a jeep. Tita: “Mama bayad!” Driver: “Ilan po ‘to?” Tita: “Dalawa, may niyog!”
4. Voxby – My friend: “Mama tabi lang po sa may shed!” Driver: “Do you mean, sa may ‘waiting shade’?”
5. Abernathy – Passenger asked the driver to stop because he had to pee. After, he said: Pasensiya na po, kasi maliit talaga pantog ko.” The driver said: “Ako din nga eh, kaya laging nagrereklamo si misis…”
6. Dona – A co-passenger in a jeep told the driver: “Mama para po sa tapat ng kambing!” When the goat started to run, the driver kept following it. When the passenger said: “Para! Lampas na ko!” The driver said: “Hindi ka pa lampas, kasi eto pa yung kambing!”
7. JKB – I paid 500 pesos so the driver asked if I had smaller bills. I said: “Wala na po akong mas maliit.” The driver said: “Ows…pramis? Sige nga, pakapkap!”
8. Geek In Pink – The barker was shouting: “Pito pa! Pito pa!” The a really fat guy rode on the jeep. After the barker shouted: “Lima nalang! Lima nalang!”
9. Lavander lady – There was a lady on the jeep who asked the driver: “Manong, magkano po Quiapo?” Driver: “Bakit, bibilhin mo?”
10. Ogs – Barker at MOA: “Isa nalang, isa nalang…yung walang friend!”
11. Ilagan/Jafruity – Guy: “Mama, bayad!” Driver: “Saan galing?” Guy: “Sa akin.” Driver: “Saan papunta?” Guy: “Sa inyo.”
12. Tikboy – A guard at the gate asked our driver: “Saan po tayo, ser?” Our driver answered: “Kami lang, hindi ka kasama.”
13. Ronald – A foreigner asked: “How far from baguio?” Driver said: “Day here, night there!” (What he meant was, you’ll leave here in the morning, you’ll get there at night)
14. Rexxx – In Pamapanga, there’s a minibus w/c has labels for its seats, on the left side: “DITO MAGAGANDA” and on the right side: “DITO MGA PANGIT”. When the driver saw that everyone sat on the left side, he said: “Asuuuuuuuuuuuus!”
15. Yunix – A sign on a jeep: “Pag sa jeep naidlip, malayo ang mararating.”
16. Smiles-a-lot – During a sharp turn, the jeepney driver shouted: “Kapit lang po sa matigas!”
17. Oscar dela Hopia – Driver: “Ang di pa nagbabayad magbayad na! Wala nang libre ngayon! Kahit nga ang pag-ibig…may kabayaran na…”
18. Geyp – Taxi driver was telling us he used to be a family driver. When we asked why the shift, she sadly said: “Kasi po naging crush ko sa ma’am…”
19. Chill – Woman said before boarding the jeep: “Palengke po?” Driver answered: “Hindi, jeepney.”
20. Jlaw – Driver: “Upong ipit-itlog lang po!”
21. Denxio – Me: “Isang blumentritt, dalawang recto, at dalawang carriedo.” Driver: “Dine-in o take-out?”
22. Smiles-a-lot – When the driver or the conductor says: “Mag-ingat lang po sa mandurukot!” It means a known pickpocket just boarded the bus or jeepney.
23. RC and Cess – A friend asked the taxi driver, referring to the meter: “Boss magkano patong niyo?” Driver: “Miss ha, naughty ka! Pero para sa yo, libre na patong ko.”
24. Rohan – From a mini-cooper owner: “It takes a real man to drive a small car.”
25. Kikoman – We told the manong driver to drop us off at the bonfire. He said: “Takot ako sa bonfire…naninipsip ng dugo.”
26. Geryl – Woman: “Manong, dadaan kayong ilog?” Driver: “Hindi sa ilog, sa tulay lang.”
27. Specialist – Driver went to a drive-thru and told the cashier: “Miss, isang regular yum with cheese…at isang meron.”
28. RC and Cess – Taxi driver said to the gas boy: “Full tank, 200 pesos.” (Paano kaya yun?)
29. LilRedShingNips – Driver: “Sinong bababa sa IBON?” Nobody had any idea what he meant, until he stopped in front of AVON.
30. Rustom – While I was driving, we saw some monkeys on the road. So I joked to my wife: “Hon o, mga relatives mo!” She answered: “Oo nga no, mga in-laws ko!”

Top Ten Dumbest Things You Heard Anyone Say in School

1. Infrared – Religion teacher: “Let us all close our eyes and sing,’Open Our Eyes Lord’.”
2. Carmine – Teacher: “When the odds are against me…I will against them!”
3. Specialist – Our teacher showed us a picture of a dog then asked: “Class, what breed is this dog? Japanese Speech or Cocker Spaniard?”
4. Mira Nova – Our teacher once said: “Okey sinong mga absent, itaas ang kamay!”
5. Brie – Teacher: “It happened both in the 1st and 2nd World War II.”
6. Pawee – Our teacher once said: “If I catch you cheating, I will give you additional minus!”
7. No name – We asked our teacher who just came from vacation: “Sir, kelan kayo bumalik?” His answer: “Bukas!”
8. Nash – Prof in hydrology: “Malls now are using waterless urine!” (waterless urinals)
9. Abernathy – We asked our music teacher: “Can you differentiate major and minor chords?” She answered: “Yes you can, they’re different.”
10. Oscar Dela Hopia – Teacher: “Get one whole sheet of pad paper.” Classmate: “Ma’am, crosswise or lengthwise?”
11. Cha Park – During an exam our prof said: “Time’s up! Come to me, papers!”
12. Mr Miser – After singing our Alma Mater song, a classmate asked our teacher: “Ma’am sino ba si Alma Mater?” Our teacher answered: “Si ano…si kwan…si Madam Principal.”
13. Girltemperamental – Our math teacher entered the classroom and said: “Get out…get out…”, so we started exiting one by one. Then he said: “Where are you going?” We answered: “Sir, you said get out.” He said angrily: “I wasn’t finished! I was going to say, get out your calculators!”
14. Abernathy – Teacher: “Class, you know jumping jack? You know, you open the box and jack will jump?”
15. Tyron – A classmate asked our teacher: “Ma’am, namamana po ba ang pagka-baog?”
16. Mr. Perk – Teacher: “Spell orange.” Classmate: “Sir, yung color o yung fruit?”
17. Xuxalera – Early Monday, our teacher barged into our classroom: “Sinong naglagay ng munggo sa aquarium? Ayan, puro toge!!!”
18. Jorik – Our English teacher told us: “Today we will only speak English. Maliwanag?”
19. Cherry – A classmate told me: “Ay ang cute ng mga sintas mo, luminou!” I corrected her: “Luminous!” She said: “Ay, oo nga pala, plural…”
20. No name – Our teacher asked us to bring colored puto. So the next day, we all bought from Goldilocks their colored puto. Our teacher was so angry. He yelled: “I said bring colored puto! Colored putograp!”
21. Mickey – Teacher: “Class we have a spelling exam today.” Classmate: “Ma’am, wrong spelling wrong?”
22. Febkinse – Teacher: “Class give me an example of a tag question.” Classmate: “Teacher is beautiful, isn’t she?” Teacher: “VERY GOOD! Okay, sa Tagalog naman.” Classmate: “Si Ma’am maganda, hindi naman diba?”
23. Poohbear – Teacher: “The classroom is so dirty! Get a broom and broom the room!” (kumuha ka ng walis at walisin mo ang silid)
24. No name – Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking even when people are no longer interested?” Classmate: “A teacher?” Ayun, instant quiz.
25. Sasha Purse – Teacher: “May piraso ako ng baboy, hinati ko sa dalawa. At bawat piraso hinati ulit sa dalawa. At bawat piraso hinati ulit sa dalawa ng 16 pang beses. Meron akong…” Classmate: “Ma’am giniling!”
26. Antidote – During a cultural program, our teacher gave instructions: “Lahat ng lalaki magbabahag! Kahit anong kulay, basta red!”
27. Kolboy13 – We were grouping ourselves into 6 groups, but group 6 was incomplete. Our teacher with a heavy accent asked: “O, sino pang gustong sumali sa group sex?”
28. Acer’s Wifey – In our marketing class, our teacher gave an example of a product warning: “Cigarette is bad for smoking.”
29. Lockon Stratos – Teacher: “Sinong may alam ng sagot sa equation na ito?” Classmate: “Ma’am kayo!”
30. Febkinse – Teacher: “Class, anong kaibahan ng 69 sa 6.9?” Student: “Ma’am yung 6.9 mas kadiri kasi may period.”

Top Ten Celebrity Jokes

1. No name – Erap was singing: “Put your left feet in, then put your left feet out…” Jinggoy: “Dad, dapat foot.” Erap: “Ay oo nga, sori. Foot your left feet in, then foot your left feet out…”
2. OscarDelaHopia – Pacman: “Nars, gib me samting por my pain!” Nurse: “Okay sir, I’ll give you morphine” Pacman: “No, no! I want less pain, not more pain!”
3. Hoypunks – Jinggoy: “Dad, anong spelling ng ‘success’, dobol S ba?” Erap: “Naku, ewan ko anak, tatluhin mo na, para sigurado!”
4. Rehaz – (Nasusunog yung bahay ni Erap at Loi sa U.S.) Loi: “Tawagan mo yung emrgency number!” Erap: “Teka! Nahanap ko na yung 9, pero di ko mahanap yung 11!”
5. Fratman – Erap: “Hindi maganda itong nabili mong sabon, ayaw bumula!” Loi: “Eh bakit naman kasi ayaw mong basain muna?” Erap: “Hello? Nakalagay nga ‘for dry skin’ only!”
6. Zeni Grand – Not a joke, but it sounds like one. I saw Alma Moreno being interviewed on TV. Host: “Ano naman ang specialty mo sa pagluluto?” Alma: “Mostly Chinese diseases…”
7. Andee – Erap: “Hon, na-carnap yung kotse natin!” Loi: “Nahabol mo?” Erap: “Hindi, pero nakuha ko yung plate number!”
8. Boknoi – Friend: “Pare, saan ka nanggaling?” Pepe Pimentel: “Sa libing ng biyenan ko.” Friend: “Eh bakit ang dami mong kalmot?” Pepe: “Lumaban eh…”
9. Sakura – “It’s one, in one.” Manny Pacquiao on the latest deadly virus (H1N1)
10. Numbynacky – (During a funeral) Erap: “Anak, bilis, lumabas tayo agad! Wag tayong paiiwan!” Jinggoy: “Bakit po?” Erap: “Ayan o, nakalagay, ‘REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED”.”
11. Ralph Waldo – A woman comes up to Melanie Marquez and shouts: “Hey bitch!” Melanie shoots back: “Don’t you EVER call me HEY!”
12. Glennmich – “Noodle! Noodle!” Manny Pacquiao playing “Deal Or No Deal”.
13. No name – Erap texts Jinggoy the following message: “Anak, naiwan mo cellphone mo dito sa bahay.”
14. Neo MD – “Hidden Soldiers!” Manny Pacquiaowhen he was asked what’s the world’s number one anti-dandruff shampoo.
15. KiD BuKid – Teacher: “What is the scientific name of the female sex organ?” Erap: “I know this…it’s at the tip of my tongue…”
16. Bebe – “Toilet! Toilet!” Manny Pacquiao when asked which movie had Edward and Bella as the lead characters.
17. Glennford – (An exchange of texts between Erap and Loi) Erap: “Pa-pasaload naman ng 2 pesos, kasi last text ko na ‘to, may kailangan lang akong i-text.” (Loi sends 2 pesos) Erap: “Tnx!” Loi: “Wag mo na kong i-text!” Erap: “K!”
18. Aynluvcookies – Jinggoy: “Dad, pasilip nga kung sira yung signal light.” (Erap puts his head out the window of the car) Erap: “Sira nga! Ay, ayos pala! Ay teka, sira nanaman! Ayan, ayos nanaman…”
19. Aynluvcookies – Alma: “One burger please!” Waiter: “With pleasure, ma’am.” Alma: “No, with ketchup.”
20. Isenhart – Reporter: “Anong pasalubong mo kay Jinky?” Manny: “Ibon!” Reporter: “Ha? Anong klase?” Manny: “Mik-ap, lipstik, iba-ibang Ibon products!”
21. Jerguin – Alma: “Doc, si joey po laging sumisigaw pag nagka-climax siya!” Doc: “O, normal lang yun.” Alma: “Eh, nagigising po ako eh!”
22. RC and Cess – Q: “Bakit hindi nagsusuot ng grass skirt si Mahal?” A: “Kasi nagmumukha siyang sipa.”
23. Boknoi – Q: “Bakit hindi nagsusuot ng turtleneck si Bembol Roco?” A: “Kasi nagmumukha siyang roll-on.”
    
24. Japo – Q: “Anong title nung children’s album na ginawa ng Goo Goo Dolls at ni Lady Gaga?” A: “Goo Goo Gaga.”
25. Sasha Purse – Jinggoy: “Dad, bakit ang barko lumulutang sa tubig pero ang karayom lumulubog?” Erap: “Duh! Yung karayom may butas!”
26. Boknoi – (Alma Moreno called Philippine Airlines) Alma: “How long is the flight from Manila to Vancouver?” The person on the other line said: “Just a minute, ma’am…” Alma: “Wow, ang bilis lang pala!” (then puts the phone down).
27. Bebe – The Abu Sayyaf were looking for FVR, GMA and Erap, who all hid inside a sack each. The rebels kicked FVR’s sack, and FVR said: “Arf! Arf!” The rebels moved to GMA’s sack and kicked it, GMA said: “Meow! Meow!” The rebels moved to Erap’s sack and kicked it, and Erap said: “Patatas! Patatas!”

The Top Ten “Mag-Tagalog Ka Na Lang!” Quotes – Agent 2B

1. Biboy Blue – While our teacher was swriting on the board, someone threw paper at him. He turned around and shouted, “Hudas dat person dat did dat?”
2. Beb Ni Tykes – When my mom was in a spa, the masseuse asked, “Swedish or Thai?” My mom answered, “I’m Pinoy!”
3. Honbee – When I arrived late at friend’s house, he asked, “Have you been eaten?”
4. Ferdz – From a high school classmate: “Simple problem you cannot solution? How can you graduation?”
5. Wowie – From a sosyalerang panget on a jeep: “Driver, payment!”
6. No name – An officemate during a meeting – “I second emotion!”
7. Sundowner – A beauty contestant when asked what would she advocate should she win: “I want to promote drug abuse!”
8. Sundowner – Same beauty contest, same question, different contestant: “I will donate trash to every barangay!”
9. Jose de vengenge – Host: “How will you describe the color blue to a blind man?” Beauty contestant: “Good question, keep it up! I thank you.”
10. Jose de vengenge – Host: “What makes you blush?” Beauty contestant: “Blush-on?”
11. Jose de vengenge – Host: “What is the youth’s biggest problem today?” Contestant: “Drugs.” Host: “Why?” Contestant: “Mahal eh!”
12. Scrambledegg – “You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can even fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four!”
13. Filthy Rich Beggar – An officemate arguing on the phone: “I called you three times! No ha, no ho!” (Ni ha, ni ho)
14. No name – My angry boss when I took half the day off: “Where did you been?”
15. Ishi – Our English teacher: “I have a son. My son is a boy.”
16. Astroboy – Dude 1: “What’s the difference between H2O and CO2?” Dude 2: “H2O is water, CO2 is COLD water!”
17. Astroboy – Teacher: “Define ethics.” Student: “Ethics are smaller than ducks.”
    
18. No name – Over the PA system at the airport: “Passengers please proceed to git it. I ripit, git it.” (“gate 8″)
19. Dru – I get this all the time when I ask applicants: “How do you want me to call you?” Applicant: “Uhm…cellphone?”
20. Scully – A high school classmate: “We own a boutique. You know, where you buy medicine?”
21. No name – When I introduced my twin sister to my high school teacher, she asked, “You’re twins? Since when?”
22. RhachaeL_Leigh – College professor: “What you are I was. What I am you will.”
23. Myra – When our secretary got a call looking for a lady who was in a meeting with the boss in his room, the secretary said, “She is inside her boss.”
24. No name – Calendar Girl: “I will win because I have da 3 “V’s”. Vivacious, Vyootipul, Very Okay.”

The Top Ten Euphemisms

1. Caloy 311 – In our barkada, the term we use for girls who are hot, flirty and bitchy, is “subterranean”. It’s a euphemism for “sarap tirahin yan”.
2. Dyn – We had a prof in college who we called Pocahontas because she looks like a pokpok.
3. Astroboy – Percussive maintenance – the art of whacking an electronic device for it to work again.
4. JoeCool – He’s not losing hair, he’s gaining face!
5. Peo – Tagalog euphemism for panty its “salung-guhit”.
6. Astroboy – I’m not unemployed…I’m a job seeker!
7. DatgurL/Justin – When you’re called “BUTTERFACE”, it’s n0t a compliment. It’s short for – “Everything’s pretty BUT HER FACE.”
8. Daisy6 – During college, there were 2 girls we used call “wacky”, because their eyebrows were tattoos, they don’t have kilay. That’s why it’s “wacky” = “walang kilay”.
9. tyroncaliente – We call someone wearing tight pants, “boy piso”. Sa sikip ng pantalon, pati bigote ni rizal sa pisong nasa bulsa, nakabakat.
10. Astroboy – “Taong uy-ay”: Pag nakatalikod, “Uy!” Pag humarap, “Ay…”
11. No name – “PPPP” means, papalapit ng papalapit, papanget ng papanget.
12. Elanor – In Clueless, Cher said, “She’s a Monet. From far away it’s okay, but up close it’s a big old mess.”
13. John 090 – When someone asks about work, tell them, “Ayun, CEO pa din sa company namin.” CEO: Common Employee Only.
14. Mike Apol – We call ugly spinsters SAMSUNG: SAMa ng mukha, SUNGit pa!
15. No name – I used to call somebody PITA – Pain In The Ass.
16. Jose de vengenge – “Jackpot” – Pinay na may boyfriend na foreigner.
17. Dru – People with bad breath: “Foot In Mouth”.
18. Espeks/Kebong – Hindi siya janitor, sanitary engineer siya.
19. angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – Every morning he woke up “pleasuring the pickle”.
20. scrambledegg – Sa Pinas, ang “straight acting”, “straight curious”, “straight tripper”, at “swinger”, isa lang ang ibig sabhin: “bakla”.
21. BertongTigaz – I call girls with very small boobs: “walanjo”, medium sized: “mejo”, big boobs: “mountain jo”.

Don't Take What's Not Yours!

You shouldn't have taken what is not yours.
You should've asked first.
Oh.
But this isn't for the thief.
This is for the one who assumes she was the victim of a thief.
Oh.
Gloomy instance upon opening the fridge.
Where it had been there.
Where I faced my nightmare.
Oh.
Oh, it was hard to believe that you're gone.
But as I walked away I realized
It's owning something that is not yours is what's wrong.
Oh.
If it's in the fridge, it could be free for all.
So take it, but just don't get caught.
But if the fridge is at your friend's house, all you could've done is sneak it out of the carton and hide behind the door.
Oh.
Now I learn.
That if you want it, take it.
You need it, get it.
Or be tickled pink.
Now or never.
Lethal is the word later.
I don't know what's the matter
But I JUST WANT YOU TO BRING BACK THAT SANSRIVAL CAKE ON THE PLATTER!

A hormonal imbalanced episode of my life. Sorry people.

Going to Sagada

Yun oh.

Dear Pison,

We really have to make this happen. Sagada is almost within reach and I assure you, the pictures you see online can never define all the memories we'll make there. This'll be the second of the many more ultimate adventures we'll take on as Pison!

Well anyway, eto na ang breakdown ng magagastos natin papunta at pabalik ng Sagada for 3 days and 2 nights. Sa transportation meron tayo 2 choices pero pinili ko na ang Regular bus ng Victory Liner (air-conditioned pa rin to) dahil mas mura to kesa dun sa isa.
Autobus Terminal - P450 (Manila Terminal)
Victory Liner - P400 (Cubao Edsa Terminal)
* Manila to Baguio pa lang to :)

From Baguio sakay tayo ng taxi (P50) papunta sa GL Liner, kasi medyo malayo to para lakarin tapos dala pa natin mga gamit. Haha. Nag-explain pa ko. Amp. Anyway, another bus ride, P200-250 (price range), this time papunta na ng Sagada.

Sa accomodation meron tayong 3 choices: Rock Inn, St. Joseph Inn, Sagada Guest house (George's Guest house). Below are lists of ideal room rates para satin. Pag-usapan na lang natin yung plano sa sharing :)

SAGADA ACCOMODATION #1:
St. Joseph's Inn

Cottage (with our own hot + cold water, kitchen and living room)
P1,700 - good for 3
P2,000 - good for 4
P3,500 - good for 8

contact person: Julia Abad 0928-9517156
St. Jo's website click here


SAGADA ACCOMODATION #2:
George's Guest house

E-4 - Ordinary type (shared bathroom with other guests) - 6 single beds = P1,200
E-5 - Toilet and Bath + TV (no kitchen) - 1 Twin bed + 2 Single bed = P1,400
E- 6 - With Kitchen and cable TV - 1 Twin bed + 2 Single bed = P1500
E-7 - With Kitchen and cable TV - 1 Twin bed + 3 Single bed = P1875
Room #4 - with private toilet and bath - 4 single = P1,200
Room #2 - Twin bed = P400
Room #6 - Twin bed= P600
Check out this blog for pictures of their rooms. Click here.



SAGADA ACCOMODATION #3:
Rock Inn

Attic room - can accomodate 18 people P250/person
Bunk room - P450/person
contact person: Bang Omengan 0920-9095899
*dito, kung ito ang trip natin, kailangan ipareserve ng solid para satin lang ibigay ang Attic room. Kasi kung hinde, pwedeng may makasama tayong iba :(




Para sa suggestion ni Tan - Camping! Meron din Camp site sa Sagada pero 5 hours walk. Mt. Buasao. Kailangan lang natin bayaran yung guide papunta dun. Ang rate nya from P500-P1000+. Forgot to take note of his name pero his number is 0919-3363199.

So, to sum it all up, ganito ang breakdown ng gastos natin na may budget na P3,000.

If we choose....

SAGADA BUDGET TRIP #1:
Rock Inn...
Accomodation - Attic room 3 days and 2 nights: P750
Fare - Regular Bus Victory Liner to Baguio: P400
Taxi to GL Liner Terminal: P100
Baguio to Sagada: P200
PAUWI - Sagada to Bontoc (jeep): P35
Bontoc to Manila: P600
TOTAL: P2,085/person

SAGADA BUDGET TRIP #2:
St. Joseph's Inn...
Accomodation - Cottage: P1,312.50 <---(3,500 cottage / 8person x 3 days = P1,312.50) Fare - Regular Bus Victory Liner to Baguio: P400 Taxi to GL Liner Terminal: P100 Baguio to Sagada: P200 PAUWI - Sagada to Bontoc (jeep): P35 Bontoc to Manila: P600
TOTAL: P2,647.50/person

SAGADA BUDGET TRIP #3:
Sagada Guest house...
Accomodation - E-7 (sample lang :P) :P1,125 <---(1,875 E-7 / 5 person x 3 days = P1,125) Fare - Regular Bus Victory Liner to Baguio: P400 Taxi to GL Liner Terminal: P100 Baguio to Sagada: P200 PAUWI - Sagada to Bontoc (jeep): P35 Bontoc to Manila: P600
TOTAL: P2,460/person

Sa Camping trip kailangan lang natin magdala ng mga gamit - tent, headlamps, sleeping bags etc.

Kung iniisip nyo naman kung ano mga pwedeng kainan sa Sagada maraming swak na spot din naman.

MGA KAINAN SA SAGADA:




Log Cabin Buffet. Serving French cuisine - P350. May fireplace pa!












Ganduyan Inn/Museum. Breakfast all day! (may Entrance fee P25). Ito yung store sa left side ng picture.











Yoghurt House. Sabi ng officemate ko dito daw ang pinakamasarap na home-made yogurt na natikman nya. Sabi naman ng mga reviews masarap dito dahil after mo mag cave connections ito yung unang una mong mapupuntahan. Pwede rin pala uminom dito. Medyo mahal ang food compared sa iba.





Cuisina Igorota - parang ordinary carinderia lang din yung presyo (no picture)

Sa inuman naman pa tayo 2 choices Shamrock(no picture) at Persimoon Cafe.

BTW, may curfew sa Sagada! Pag uminom tayo sa labas ng accomodation natin hanggang 9pm lang tayo pwede kundi huhulihin tayo ng mga lespu!

Activities na pwede:
Swimming sa Sagada? Why not!
May Hot Spring dun. Ang tawag - MAINIT Hot Spring (no joke!)
Biking? Pwede rin!
Mountain Biking rental with Steve - 0919-6988361
Hiking? Kung kaya ni Benj! Hahaha
Mount Ampucao. Site daw to ng mga cellular towers sa buong Sagada. Dito lang may signal. Kaya kailangan natin to talaga puntahan. LOL joke lang.

Last but not the least, Fiesta sa Sagada this February. Starting first week of Feb, every weekend may kemeng street party ata sila. So, so, so, kung ito na ang trip... Les doo deezzz!


More photos from kaibigang Fritz: Sagada in Full colors