Maybe I think too much

I wondered, as I sit on my bed facing a very battered looking laptop in the middle of the night, why am I so pissed? The people around moves swiftly to bed gazing at me like I'm some kind of lunatic on the wall. And I thought how stupid of me to ever start my hands on a post for my blog again when there is nothing in this world that is worth thinking of but knowing how to be able to get my self to sleep. Because right now, sleep is impossible.

I don't know. Maybe because someone I had been expecting turned me down today. Sadness. Maybe the new task of finding the Super Proxy site is killing me. Horrible. Maybe because Christmas is too soon I still haven't got the time to window shop for my wish list. Oh, is there going to be a wish list? Maybe because it has been days that I am feeling so sickly. Sigh. Maybe because I just realized how hard I need to be bashed this Friday. Amfufu! Maybe because I miss someone so much I want to cry. Sadness! Maybe because there are migrating-to -foreign-land issues at work. No way. Maybe because I had been depriving myself of something with someone lately. Sadness!!! Maybe because I'm still not over my eating disorder. Idiot me. Or maybe... just maybe... I think too much.

Oh whatever. It's just a very very sad and lonely night for me. You wouldn't want me to capture this moment on camera or you'd be broken-hearted too.

PS. To all the people who had been affected by this post. I'm sorry. I didn't intend to be hurt, to share the hurt and then hurt you in turn . I just think I have this abandonment issues going on with me that I'm having a hard time dealing with right at this very moment. So please, bare with me.

LeBron James' Almost

I saw this on Yahoo today before I logged in. LeBron James dunks from the free throw line! Almost! I thought, ok, so what? Ha-ha. But inspite of myself, I clicked on the link, watched the replay and gawked at it like really Oh.My.God!

The Prince of Egypt

Mud…

Sand…

Water…

Straw…

Faster!

Mud… And lift…

Sand… And pull…

Water… And raise up…

Straw… Faster!

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder

With the salt of my sweat on my brow

Elohim, God on high, can you hear your people cry: “Help us now. This dark hour… Deliver us.”

I watched The Prince of Egypt last night at the boarding house together with two thirds of The Kerns. I was on the phone texting Vince and Eeyan when the movie started and this song started playing. It echoed in the interiors of the house. Some boarders even went downstairs to check what the racket is all about. Astonished I fixed my eyes on the screen and there it is. I was transfixed, swept away by the music and the animation that my eyes started to moist. I was ready to cry right then and there. But I was told that the movie hasn’t really started yet. Means I’m in for some more of this.

What mesmerized me more about this movie is the animated Moses. His facial expressions were so real that I thought the real Moses should’ve looked just like that. Fascinating. Every scene was so magical that I nearly declared it the best animated movie I had ever seen. Okay, well Cinderella was my ultimate fairytale movie but this movie is definitely something else. Oh well, if it’s the best, might as well not compare it to anything else then. He-he.

After the crossing of the Red-Sea I was already choking in tears. I couldn’t trust myself to speak about how this movie made me feel because the feeling is beyond words to describe. So after the credits I gave Aegirine and her dad Kuya Billy a quick goodbye and run quickly upstairs to hide my tears. I’m such a looser, you know. He-he. But the moment I hit the sack I was reminded of my Grandmother in Tacloban. She sent me a booklet called A Brighter Tomorrow which initially I thought was for kids. I kept it in my Starbucks planner and told myself I’ll be reading it one day.

I hit my bed at 12am because I did some more journals on my planner. I put my arms around my pillow and thought about the song I just heard. Shortly, I was singing Elohim, God on high, can you hear your people cry: “Help us now. This dark hour… Deliver us.”

Tita Ayin for a Day

Last Saturday I was in Marikina for a little babysitting with Michael. He is the son of my elder cousin Lema. This boy was born and raised in Bahrain for two years. He speaks a little tagalog now but some times he chants. Ha-ha just kidding.


It all started with the Raisins. Mikel luuves Raisins which I don't understand why because I don't eat too much of it! So I asked him to give me some to taste so I can tell what is to like about it. But he didn't want to share! Gasp.

So I tricked him by singing the Jolibee song. He loves to sing and dance to that one so I sang it and played around with him a little. Then I asked if he could now give me some of his raisins. He gave me a cheeky grin instead. Sigh.

I played around with his toys and rolled over the mattress like what a real toddler does. And when I was tired I realized he already finished three packs of it. Gosh, this kid is something.


So there, a day playing the role of Tita Ayin to Michael Blancaflor. Boy, that was hard. He-he. I didn't really mind about the raisins, you know. I was more fond of the time we shared. Mikel was such a cutie. He looked like my brother Nico when he was younger. But of course Nico is waayy cuter than any kid in town. Oh okay enough of that. Anyway, after a few more playtime with Mikel I chatted with his mom a little and was told that the they are really moving to Singapore by next year. Initially, they had planned to settle in Bahrain after their marriage because of Kuya Ronnie's work (Michael's dad) there as a Computer Analyst. But they had a problem with the immigration so they went back here. When Kuya Ronnie finally got everything fixed he was assigned to work in Singapore, thus, making them, Ate Lems, Michael and younger baby Kevin move there as well. Sad. Makes me wish that I could spend some more time with them before they're gone and be a Tita Ayin for a day again. Ayyy...

Bloggers Unite To Reunite Refugees

There had been no laughter in Sarajevo, only the sounds of exploding mortars and the anguished screams that followed. John Donne was right, Dana thought. No man is an island. What happens to one happens to us all, for we are all made of day and Stardust. We share the same moments of time. The universal second hand starts its unforgiving sweep toward the next minute."

Sydney Sheldon
The Sky Is Falling

It wasn't Sheldon who introduced me to the reality of refugees, but, surely he and the books that he had written expressing the tragedy that took place beyond my time and imagination is what inspired me to put this post today. I'm one of the many people who is here to share all efforts possible for Bloggers Unite: Reunite Refugees.

This is to all the fallen people, angels of Sarajevo and the Albanian refugees.