Did you hear that, mother?

You know what day it is today? It's Sunday. And I'm sure you know what's the most important thing in the life of a catholic family when it's Sunday, right? No stupid, not watch Manny Pacquiao match, mass! Mass, right?

Oh don't roll your eyes on me now because I'm telling you what your about to read is something you'll surely remember for the rest of your life. I mean it.

First off, I gotta tell you something about myself. Okay, I know this is painful for both you and I but I really gotta do this or else you'll miss the whole point on why am I blogging an episode of my life on a lazy day Sunday. I promise to keep it short but straight. So here we go.

I'm already twenty-five years old and I still haven't finished college. I stopped in my sophomore year. When I left school I went to work in a call center for three years. I did that because I had to save money so I can go back to school. During that time my parents were starting to get really bored of my collegiate prattles that they felt they needed a break. Anyway, so I worked hard and earned quite a few. My plan was to continue studying even if I was working during the graveyard shifts. That never happened. Why? Good question. Well, not because the graveyard shift gave me unhealthy sleeping patterns but because of these - the money was scarce, my parents became ruthlessly uncaring about our education and was content of having a mediocre life spent huddled up in the mountains far from civilization and I became the unfortunate go-to person in the entire family so as to say the bread-winner. I did another job as a copywriter because my parents felt that my obligation isn't done yet and that my newly acquired position as the bread-winner wasn't well kept. So this time I earned a lot better. Better enough to send me back to school. But still I couldn't. Same reasons I intricately elaborated right above. Come the start of year 2009 when my parents had an inkling that I may have the desire to go back to school and finish my degree they sent me back to study. A year after, or I should say maybe less, my mother started complaining about money again. My father was already working in the middle east and is already earning quite a lot yet still money is an issue. So I had to stopped schooling again.

That is my story. And that is just sad.

I love my parents, you know. I love my family. But the more I think about the stuff I'd been through all these years, not finishing school and all, makes me wanna regret everything I'd done for them and start pointing fingers - outwardly. I start to think that my parents had become ruthless, totally unmoved or perhaps they were abducted some time back and now they're this evil aliens trying to squeeze the life out of me starting by the time they made me quit writing for my college's school newspaper.

Anyway, let me now connect that to my topic. So my mother, Konics and I attended the mass today. We were seated about 3-4 pews from the altar, best seat in town. I sat beside mama. Then when you think you're about to fall asleep the priest will start off with his homily. Suddenly I was wide awake. Despite my limping eye sight my ears got stuck on the priests sermon when he said something like this: "God wants tell the people that when you do good to others you don't have to tell them hey, I did that for you as if bragging." He continued with some examples and the best one he cited is this, "for the parents, you don't say oh, if it weren't because of me you wouldn't be able finish school. Because you know very well that sending your kids to school is your obligation." Yahahahaha hahahahahah hahahahahahaha ahahahaha ahahahah hahahahahahaha.....

God, that was hilarious. And can you imagine how awkward it was for my mother to hear that. Did you hear that, mother? Oh geesh, that was insane. But honestly, I felt that that homily was meant for me. I mean, for once I felt that the heavens conspired for this very special day just so that my mother can hear the ugly truth.

PS. The Ugly Truth stars Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. I was actually watching it on HBO while entering this. Katherine Heigl sucks because Gerard Butler is just so irresistible from the start. =)

Tough Love

Lately it's been so hard to deal with my mother. Ever since we've had this problem with papa regarding some serious third-party issues, nothing has been the same.

It started around June this year. A couple of days after my birthday I remember getting a text message from mama that something seriously wrong has been going on with papa and that we need to talk about it. When I got back home from work I saw mama seated on the sofa right in front of the altar with her eyes closed bitterness dawned in her. As I got near her I realized that she was crying. Then she spoke to me and broke the news. Papa has another woman. She does not know who, does not know where and moreso when did it started but she knew. The more I listened to her the more I became numb as I stood there looking down at her. I had no clue what to feel about this. I may have said I became numb or frozen in time as she spoke the bitter truth about papa's infidelity but really I don't know how to take this. I think what I did back then was rolled out my eyes and walked away from her. Hey, I was tired!

Anyway, that's not true. I wasn't tired. I was just not feeling anything about the issue. I was like "this is normal!" "everybody's going through this..." "you know you can do something about this..." and that very luck-luster line "everything's gonna be all right!".

Until I learned how weak my mother was. Day in and day out she did nothing but pray then leave the house and come back by dinner time. Later I found out that what she was doing outside the house was not doing her any good. She had been attending bible studies and after that gossiping away about our situation and then rant carelessly about whomever the other woman was to anyone - as in anyone - who would care to listen.

Eventually, I grew tired of her actions. For me they were very childish and stupid. My mother's mother (our grandmother) and so as her own siblings tried to intervene a couple of times regarding this tell-all but it's just no use. When she's out, she tells the whole world about this shameful issue on papa, then when she gets back to us she wouldn't give a damn telling us what's up and she'll act like "you already know what's up! Now let's eat dinner and head off to bed after. No more lounging around." Talking about manipulation. You don't just manipulate people, let alone your kids, when you don't explain to them why the hell you're doing what you're doing. Because if you don't explain, you'll miss the part of being understood. I mean, how will we know there's still something wrong with her, right? Sure, me and my siblings understand the fact that something fragile was already broken. But like I said, we have to take this positively. Well, we did. By "we" I thought, at first, was us all. But I was wrong. Mama drowned in her distraught, in her bitterness and in envy and sad to say none of us were able to pull her back.

Now, everything becomes an issue. Everything that would boil down to her inability to comprehend the facts of the matter or when we can't find any sense in what she's fussing about, she starts blaming papa and what he had done to her. I don't know, but even though I'm with her everyday of my life I don't know if I missed something or if I cracked my head because I don't understand what's become of her. All this stuff that she says has affected her this much has already simmered down a month after it went into full blast. So I don't get it why she's still so upset! My siblings and I were already able to cope up with the problem that even though we were the ones who were so affected and were hard to put in talking to papa that time, we were still able to get up, accept the fact that something went wrong and believed that everything will be fine then we just went on with our own lives. But how come she's still there?

I'm the eldest of three. I'm the toughest and the more experienced when it comes to relationship because my younger sister, Iris, is NBSB, and our youngest, Konics is only twelve. I said a lot to mama on this issue of infidelity and most of them are based on my experiences. I'm not an expert and needless to say I'm no psychiatrist but what I tried to do is make mama know her ways out of her predicament. Sure, this is an issue about only the two of them can solve regarding their love for each other and the marriage that binds them, but this is also about family. About all of us. On simple terms, what I did is help. A help from a daughter to her mother whom she doesn't want to be miserable all her life. This is about love.

The Beatles said "all we need is love". I say aye. And for those people who believe that love has ruined them and that they'd rather stay that way forever, well, look out there punk because I'm pretty sure that you're just not looking at the bigger picture.